vaporous ford
@vaporous_ford
Followers
884
Following
660
Media
419
Statuses
12,073
It was not the thorn bending to the honeysuckles, but the honeysuckles embracing the thorn
Joined August 2021
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Toni Kroos
• 247900 Tweets
England
• 114143 Tweets
招待コード
• 46718 Tweets
#ファンパレ
• 45618 Tweets
ソフトバンク
• 44476 Tweets
Euro 2024
• 34490 Tweets
Rashford
• 34277 Tweets
Singapore Airlines
• 33879 Tweets
Modric
• 31645 Tweets
$Retik
• 27463 Tweets
#お迎え渋谷くん
• 26840 Tweets
Grealish
• 24718 Tweets
Dunk
• 24103 Tweets
Southgate
• 23668 Tweets
ホークス
• 23463 Tweets
كروس
• 19783 Tweets
Pote
• 18068 Tweets
Iniesta
• 17479 Tweets
#仰天ニュース
• 16850 Tweets
Henderson
• 16643 Tweets
クロース
• 16454 Tweets
Eurocopa
• 12350 Tweets
#くる恋
• 10588 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
Tits or ass? bro her hair that she lets me curl over her ear, that brushes against my hands like velvet
13
21
219
Tits or ass? Bro the nape of her bare neck when she's wearing a dress, its curve into her shoulders, like a sandstone slope luminous under a full moon
26
685
5K
Any other guys ever deliberately acted in a certain way to disrupt a woman's interest in you?
67
8
533
There needs to be a B-league dating app for people (including me). An app just for the "boring" down to earth types who haven't been to 50 countries and don't have scuba diving pics and don't mind low key living.
Maybe call it "The B League"
16
36
537
The fact that bay area USPS mail couriers are getting robbed on their routes is proof of just how fucking stupid and mentally broken some criminals are.
That can land you a 20 year sentence. For stealing mail. The risk/reward calculus are so broken.
30
18
409
This guy is a textbook example of one of those guys who lots of women are into and you, as a man, have absolutely no idea why
28
9
313
Jeez I'm talking to 4 women at once on hinge rn this is overwhelming, how do women do this
16
4
277
My Aella fantasy ends with me laying my life down on the line for my queen. Perhaps in the process of rescuing her from a deranged simp. The ultimate sacrifice. Fulfilling my duty as part of the queensguard. She'll confess her monogamous love for me as the life leaves my lungs
8
2
236
How many of Peter Thiel's blood boys did it for free, for the love of the game?
15
10
220
Jfc never seen someone milk every last drop out of a doxxing like this
9
1
197
@zeta_globin
I feel like wrt heavy metals the skin is the least concern, like that mercury will be all throughout the flesh of the fish from its diet
1
0
184
@sbinslashessend
They'd ask the vim engs generic programming interview questions and they'd ask the emacs engs how often they showered, if they flossed, what deodorant they used, etc
0
5
153
Tits or ass? Bro her shoulder blades and their stark lines that caress shadows, an untamed loveliness she lets me trace with my fingers, as if it were a fire tucked away from the world, its warmth entrusted only to me to feel
6
17
142
Part of the reason technical founders like Gates and Allen and Bezos have God-like reverence in the valley is bc everyone knows they went full bug-man mode to build their companies.
3
0
126
Yud's bit is so fucking boring. Blah blah blah the end of humanity is here, we are all going to die, blah blah blah. Yet the dude cheeses with sam altman for internet clout. Find a new slant bro
9
0
116
How can we make male SWEs have the same sexy bad boy vibes as line cooks?
27
7
116
I stg if i see one more millennial 20-something woman doing the LA/SF <-> NYC <-> Living abroad pipeline while not pulling a tech salary, my midlife crisis will kick into overdrive. Seriously how tf do you afford that? Are you not worried about the tax nightmares?
18
3
112
Imagine thinking stealing mail is a good idea, stealing 10 lbs of junk mail, getting caught, and being sent to prison for 15 years
2
2
108
@AngeloRobertsJr
you run a podcast bro, you're lucky your only punishment is staying up til 10pm
4
0
110
Embarrassed to admit it took me years to fully understand that decomposing code into smaller methods does not at all guarantee readability lmao
10
1
108
@proetrie
But she loves her dogs, it's responsibility and it may seem odd to ppl who don't like dogs but that can be said of a lot of other hobbies w/ outsiders looking in. If it occupies her time and she's happy then that's not a bad choice in life
3
0
106
Thought I'd do a thread on Eyes Wide Shut, which is, in my opinion, the best movie about marriage that has ever been made.
3
0
93
Tits or ass? Bro her eyes, how they eddied over me that night we met, her gaze left me riven, as though every clock in the world were set by my heartbeat. I will never forget the way we felt, ravenous to feel, to live, to break through the serried April gloom with blossoming love
5
7
90
@cauchyfriend
It's such bullshit dude. They can't work outside of 9-5 so west coasters are stuck catering to that cutoff time. So we have to dedicate our mornings-middays to east coast-relevant work
24
0
94
Tits or ass? Bro her hair in the morning when I wake with her in my arms, remember its untamed curls and bends, as if it were a great silken river, scents of lilac and Spring blooms and memories of the first time I embraced her around her waist
4
16
90
Tits or ass? Bro when she stands there in the sand with the quiet receding embrace of the water around her ankles as she turns her gaze towards me, a soft knowing smile on her face, as if the tide rises and falls by her mere presence alone
4
7
86
@enlightenedcoop
the urbanist fetishization has taken "trad" dates from us, the likes of which are now relegated to certain parts of mid-US and old movies
you can't take your girl to the carnival to shoot air rifles & drive around in bumper cars while Friday I'm in Love plays on the speakers
2
1
80
Once a woman asked me if I had noticed that another female coworker was pregnant, while I was in front of them both
I said nothing, I just backed away slowly then turned around and walked off
5
0
72
it's amazing how women think calling a guy cute is a good compliment
15
0
77
@shakoistsLog
Flashback to the sf store owner who sprayed water at a homeless woman
And it turned out she had made a habit out of throwing her feces at people and the owner was regularly spraying human waste away from the front of his store and had called authorities about her numerous times
0
2
74
I think I saw the same attractive woman from yesterday on my walk today
How do I open?
I mean I won't say shit, but theoretically
14
0
71
Women can post 3 selfies and break 1k followers on here, meanwhile I have to shit on the entire Atlantic seaboard and get trashed in the replies just to nab 50 followers
8
0
69
Tits or ass? Bro she left me. All the light in my life has evaporated. For the rest of my wretched life I'll wander this world alone, eyes tepid bogs of misery, my feet will skirl the parched soil of this dead earth as they carry me in my slumber
4
8
65
Until then I'll do the regular things my duties require of me, such as helping her bathe and shower and selling her bath water, cutting her toenails, and helping her monitor her poop data with scientific rigor and enthusiasm
1
0
65
Tits or ass? Bro those smile lines that arch around her lips, inscribed by a thousand moments we shared together, her laugh wafting along wet cobblestone roads and strung incandescent bulbs, as if every other being were a spectator for her delight
2
6
65
Oh my God I shit you not a 5th woman just responded a few days after I messaged her
3
0
64
Guy who is on the brink of tears when he sees a physical spot he was with his ex at, haha couldn't be me, no way
7
0
64
Gates and Allen were holed up in shithole Albuquerque to get MS off the ground, probably coding >14 hours/day. I bet neither of those guys felt the touch of a woman during those years. Complete commitment to their mission.
1
0
60
This is what engaging in aella discourse is
2
0
62
"reply to this and i'll tell you what vibes you give off" oh ok how about reply to this and i'll craft a personalized insult just for you
35
0
56
In the last few days i’ve had to explain the following to bootcamp grads:
- kitchen knife grip
- preheating pans
- $ of an oz of coke
- how to separate egg yolks
- don't harass the FOH
- salt isn't smelling salt
rethinking my position on minimum viable training for an swe
4
1
53
Tits or ass? bro that serene, peaceful look on her face as she sleeps, when she knows she's safe with me
1
4
55
Yud is what you get when you let a redditor become famous
2
2
51
Compare them to modern MBA-type founders who post pics of themselves at the beach sipping on booze or their physique at Equinox.
You tell me who you believe in more.
2
0
55
tits or ass? Bro forget the yearning. I am desecrated by trauma. I am overworked and tired and run down, a decaying map whose lines have long since eroded into barren futility. Every breath I devote to this pain is an affront to my ancestors' grace.
3
5
51
Which male artist is the cultural equivalent to Rihanna, but amongst men? So like the men simp over his looks and constantly talk about how gorgeous and talented he is, etc
28
1
51
MFW I recently reached out to a (now ex) friend of mine from HS and he was like "so good to hear from you bro" and then never responded to the next 2 messages I sent about meeting up to catch up
3
0
49
Been on twitter for over a year and I think it's safe to say that brian graham is the best/funniest poaster on here, undisputed
12
2
49
Tits or ass
Bro her loving maternal instincts, forgiving and trusting nature, valued judgement, and intelligence and humor
6
5
50
Nobody ever talks about how hard it is for hot guys, especially during their hot guy summer, in tech
4
3
48
I'm what you get when a midwit enters software engineering.
I'm tired of this shit. I'm having a hard time reasoning about failure modes, multi-region availability, replication, multi region correctness, and working with all this shit.
I'm tired.
9
0
54
@skooookum
This is an autistic tell?? Idk I feel like I'd say something like that with a smile and think it's funny
0
0
50
I think many men derive glee from dunking on women/seeing women get dunked on because they're conditioned to feel as though they must always offer themselves to women and then receive judgement, so any chance to turn the tables is a noticeable change in the power dynamic
4
0
49
I'm going to make my personal 2023 OKR to be as sexy as a line cook in my SWE role. Action Items:
* curse more
* get tatted up
* chug monster energy drinks on video calls
* sleep on the floor
* constantly look tired and pissed off
what else am I missing?
5
0
48
What happened to Eurydice?
She left before Noisé deactivated, maybe they finally ended up together
4
1
47
Guy who calls health insurance to ask if procedure is covered, is told yes, does procedure, gets billed full amount w/ 0 coverage, calls health insurance again and asks why, and is told the OG answerer didn't realize it's not covered bc of my age
7
1
48
Thinking today about the woman on tinder who told me she wanted "a super hot makeout sesh" before our first date and then I dropped her off at her car and we didn't even hug at the end of the date
4
0
48
You think I give a fuck about tweeting while at a social event? I don't give a fuck broooo I'll tweet wherever I want, whenever I want. I will tweet during coitus, I will tweet in the mountains, I will tweet while at Mecca, I will tweet while being baptized by the pope
1
2
43
I am light-theme pilled. Light themed text editor, light themed terminal, light themed slack. I've come back around on light themes.
Obviously at night I'll prefer dark themes, but during the day? Light themes are baby, baby!
9
2
43
So I posted a cooking pic on social media and my caption had the word "perfect" in it. A woman I'm barely acquaintances with texted me out of the blue and said she wanted to drunk comment "I don’t see myself in this picture" on the pic
Is she trying to flirt with me?
M / Yes
536
M / No
65
F / Yes
136
F / No
21
23
0
43
If Ellen Pao wanted to combat incels in tech cos, if anything she should be clamoring for quadrupling tech TC.
You think a bitter incel dude making 850k a year would still be an incel?
You had only but to pay them more, Ellen.
3
0
38
(Once again, these posts are just a joke and lord help any man who thinks this way. Also I was coerced into reposting this, every day I stray further from the light by these devils on my shoulder)
1
0
43
The first step to getting more women to go to vibecamp is to make sure roko isn't attending
1
2
42
Major "oh hey I'm the anonymous donor being commemorated at this party tonight" energy
1
0
45
"Nooo nonstick has Teflon in it!!! It's bad for you that's why I use cast iron!!!!"
Bitch what makes you think eating flakes of polymerized oil is any better for you
8
0
41
Autist techies are gonna be so fucking cooked and ran through if the tech TC gravy train finally comes to an end in the near future. Their TC is like one of their biggest selling points in the dating market
4
0
41
Something feels off about posting body cam footage of police shooting someone. Even if it's justified...why are we watching things like that?
19
3
40
Me after 2+ years of remote work dialing into meetings with the laptop camera off
1
4
41
@turrible_tao
Your intuition is correct imo, gym isn't the best place to do it but I don't think it's the end of the world to do it there. Ppl just complain about shit
3
0
43
@ejantunez
Have you seen your jawline? I don't think any woman should be putting in any level of effort above the bare minimum with you
2
0
42
Having some serious mid life crisis vibes this morning. Wtf have I done for the past 10 years
5
0
38
For whatever reason, the rejections that hurt the most were the ones where I *did* think there was a connection between us & enjoyed talking to her & wanted to get to know her better. Say what you will about the shallower pretenses, they hurt a lot less
3
0
40
Lex is almost 40 and looks like he's aging better than Aella lol. He's had way less work done but his wrinkles are less pronounced
6
0
41
Suppose for a second that you wanted to conduct a Turing test on me to determine if I were a male or a female. What questions would you ask me?
30
0
40
The problem with creating a new "Software Engineering" undergrad major that eschews a lot of the theory stuff is that you *just know* there will be entire courses on git, subversion, etc. and even worse, guice, gradle, jQuery, and probably fucking JIRA too
2
0
41
Anyone who thinks Scala is sick and fun to write has never gone through the PR process with 7 other autistic engineers
4
0
41
MFW Martin Shkreli is a "harder and tougher man" who fares better in prison than Andrew Tate
4
2
38
Guy who stares at a woman at the gym bc she reminds him of his long deceased younger sister who he thought the world of and sobbed for days over when she passed and took the light out of his life, as well as that of everyone else who knew her
2
1
39
the fuck does "lindy" mean? all these months and i still don't know what it means
11
1
41
How do I get onto Lex's podcast so that I can talk about tits or ass with him?
2
0
37
I am begging you all to not take acid as a way to do the most basic processing of emotions
5
0
37