Ethan Kocak - Turtle Appreciator
@Blackmudpuppy
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NY Times Best-selling illustrator of DOES IT FART? & others. Science Twitter’s avatar-maker. Keeper of newts. He/Him.
New York, USA
Joined April 2012
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Pinned Tweet
Hey, it would really help me (by convincing BackerKit that people actually want this thing) if you stick your email address into this website and share the link.
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Went to the local Asian grocery store for snails, accidentally rescued this soft shell turtle.
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Just a pro tip for anyone who ever wants to commission an artist: it’s totally ok to respond with “that is out of my price range right now.” In fact, most artists appreciate this answer much more than disappearing off the face of the earth forever. It’s ok.
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Your hate only makes Stu stronger
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Imagine if we only knew about beavers from fossil remains. We would 100% reconstruct them wrong. Now apply this to dinosaurs. We are almost certainly not making dinosaurs weird enough.
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If a catio is a small patio just for cats it follows then that a ratio is a small patio for rats.
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Update, we have decided to name the turtle Stu.
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God: A plague of frogs!
Me, outside collecting frogs: Fuck yeah
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I’m trying to ID what species he is. He does not have any spines on the leading edge of his carapace. Any turtle folks want to weigh in?
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I just remembered the time in 6th grade where we were supposed to pretend to fill out McDonalds job applications and I got in trouble for “not taking it seriously” because I filled it out as Darth Vader.
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At least my ability has a nice butt
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I demand that a biologist working on studying yeasts title a paper “Fantastic Yeasts and Where to Find Them”
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#stupidXenomorph
My quest to find the most impractical animal for a xenomorph to parasitize.
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Just a reminder that my pet toad is bigger than yours
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What I really want to see in a Little Mermaid movie
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Koko the gorilla was important. She showed us unequivocally that human beings are not the sole proprietors of personhood. Rest in peace, Koko.
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Unpopular opinion: I don’t think we should be cloning extinct animals like mammoths if we can’t be bothered to keep extant elephants from going extinct.
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I want a two hour Jurassic Park movie where absolutely nothing goes wrong. Just two hours of having fun at a functioning theme park with love dinosaurs. Show me the enclosures. The rides. Interactive exhibits.
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Note how he handles it with a special hook because muppets are incredibly venomous.
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My son got a little notepad today and in it he wrote a checklist of things he plans to accomplish:
*stop climate change
*cure chytrid infected amphibians
*plant trees
*confirm if information is lost in a black hole
He’s my reason for optimism.
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I care about NFTs:
Newts
Frogs
Toads
salamanders
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Herpetologists: we need to do scicomm and get people not to demonize snakes. You know, make them more relatable to people.
Herp enthusiasts: Let’s give them silly names like snek and nope rope
Herpetologists: NO NOT LIKE THAT
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Idea: a sci-fi story where one alien civilization abducts humans and releases them on an enemy alien planet as an invasive species.
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Why is buying a coffee the thing rich people are always telling us to give up when it is probably the thing restraining me most from storming a bastille
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Believe me, I understand not being able to afford stuff. I promise I will not be mad at you. We’re cool.
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Make everyone mad by referring to ornithologists as “specialized herpetologists”
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That’s....that’s not how arms work, buddy.
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Ariel better have pharyngeal jaws or I walk
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If the thylacine turns out to be alive the Bigfoot people are going to be INSUFFERABLE for the next ten years.
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Don’t tolerate toxic environments. Instead, become more toxic than any other land vertebrate until everyone stops bothering you.
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Remember kids, if the landlord says you can have fish, a dog or cat is just fine. Taxonomically, they’re just highly specialized fish.
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We’re adopting this kitten this week. Her name’s Cricket.
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This is awesome....but...*pushes glasses up* it has the wrong number of forelimb digits
Just read that in 2022 the Mexican Bank will start running a new 50 pesos bill featuring an AXOLOTL to commemorate the foundation of old Mexico city, Tenochtitlan.
This makes me unreasonably happy. LOOK AT ITS FACE!!
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Someone called me a beta once and I assumed they meant I was a highly aggressive male anabantoid fish bred for ritualistic combat.
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The....car vet?
-me, trying to remember the word “mechanic”
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When you’re just really excited about blood worms
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Person: Why are your axolotls so expensive?
Me: They aren’t. I raised them from eggs myself.
Person: I’ve seen them for cheaper at X.
Me: ok, then buy them at X.
Person: but I like yours.
Me: then buy them at my price.
ಠ_ಠ
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The eel is 2020 and we must all strive to be the octopus
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I just noticed the salamander genus pseudotriton literally means FAKE NEWTS
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I was expecting to do several reptile shows this year so I raised so many axolotls up and lol now I have 102 axolotls + more eggs and larvae than I can count
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Appreciate my marbled newts you cowards
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Some people have all the goddamn luck
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Everyone shut up and admire my snake
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I enjoy this image whenever I see it, but the insufferable salamander nerd in me needs to point out that he is clearly holding its foot
Wildlife biologist and photographer Mario Aldecoa holding hands with a giant Japanese salamander
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I propose we call any running away from your problems to go on vacation a "Ted Cruise" from now on.
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Every time I see this I have to resist the urge to jump in there and explain that this is an alligator.
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I made this inspirational poster for you all. (I am sorry).
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Well this was unexpected. Went to clean Eekum’s cage (our female crested gecko who hasn’t been with a male in almost a year) and there was this little guy hanging out in the plants.
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*sends myself an email*
1 second later: ooo an email
Every. Time.
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Appreciate my fire salamanders dammit
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The only crypto you’ll be hearing about from me are the cryptobranchids in my book
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Comic idea: all the ways in which nature does not conform to heteronormative ideas and call it Pronouns in Bio
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I just blocked someone for arguing with me about what a newt is.
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They’re having a meeting apparently
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Hey, I’m actually a reptile and amphibian keeper and breeder with a lot of animal experience as well as an artist and illustrator. I have a graphic novel on the way that you can sign up for updates on here:
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*Me reading about Dr. Seuss books being racist*
Wait till they hear about Roald Dahl.
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Currently nursing this poor axolotl back to health (she got in a fight, lost an arm, and then stopped eating). She’s on the mend now, though and look at her tiny baby arm.
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Today in ‘this book is slowly driving me mad’:
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Fire salamander babies. Almost a month old.
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If a person was inserted into a blue whale’s anus, could the whale shut its sphincter with enough force to kill a person?
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Went to a reptile show and came home with button quail because taxonomically birds are reptiles
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UPS person: Can have your absurdly long tracking number please?
Me: I’m pretty sure my package is the one behind the counter there that says LIVE HARMLESS REPTILES.
UPSP: are you Ethan?
Me: Yes. Yes I am.
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The other day at the aquarium shop a customer literally called clownfish woke and I had to just stare at them
“What are you mad about today daily mail?”
“Just facts in general”
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I’m sorry I keep RTing this, but I’m so happy with it. I’ve never thought of myself as a “tattoo guy” but I can’t imagine a better thing to have on my arm.
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What if, instead of buying a grave plot, you could buy like a small parcel of land and declare it a conservation area in your name
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@JessiSheron
Hermit crab impression. They can swim perfectly fine, they would do the little walk only to do this impression
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Your regular reminder that the red salamander’s genus name is Pseudotriton which literally means FAKE NEWTS.
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Guys I think this means I’m a legit artist now.
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Humans: look at that animal, it has no intelligence, just robotically doing what it’s instincts are programmed to do.
Also humans: welp, time to work and earn imaginary points to exchange for food and shelter
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I quite like the south. For one thing, the lizard to person ratio is top notch. It's the racists I dislike.
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Baby axolotls. First person to say axolittles gets blocked.
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Was informed yesterday that some members of my extended family were hurt by my anti-Trump posts and I’d just like to say: I’m not sorry at all
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Being an adult is constantly feeling like you’re just about to get your shit together but never quite managing to.
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If it’s a sin to see by screaming into the darkness and eating my own weight in insects every night, then baby I don’t want to be right
When we are in a state of sin, we are like "human bats" who can move about only at night. We find it easier to live in darkness because the light reveals to us what we do not want to see. But then our eyes grow accustomed to darkness and we no longer recognize the light.
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We had to say goodbye to our 17 year old dog Ben today; he was a good boy. We loved him very much.
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Good morning from one of my Surinam toads
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