Toby Morton
@tobymorton
Followers
138,202
Following
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Media
1,311
Statuses
7,613
Comedy Writer (South Park, MADtv) & Voice of Scott Tenorman. Creator & Writer of GOP Sycophant Websites. *funny unexpected other thing*
United States
Joined April 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Due to legal restrictions I’m unable to name names.
Today I was chosen to rewrite a comedic script.
The writer before me was released.
The writer before me belonged to a private white supremacist group.
This Jew just replaced you.
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In 2015 Jimmy Carter had brain cancer. In 2019 Jimmy broke his hip. That same year Jimmy fell at home on Sunday, requiring 14 stitches. Jimmy showed up on Monday to help build houses for Habitat for Humanity. Happy 98th birthday, President Carter.
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Dog Moment: Therapy dogs waiting to be let into hospital rooms to comfort sick children. ❤️❤️❤️
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Tonight, on the exit ramp, I helped a man change his tire. He had his MAGA hat and a Trump2020 bumper sticker. I didn't care. He's someone in need. We're all human. Did I then give the wrong directions taking him 20 miles west of his destination? You're goddamn right I did.
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I’m a native of Colorado. I’m not saying I have stories of Lauren Boebert from High School in Rifle, Colorado, or the McDonald’s where she worked as a manager in 2004, or the food poisoning from her restaurant, Shooter’s Grill in 2017...but her upcoming website I’m building will.
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Hey
@EliseStefanik
- You failed to secure so I got it and created your new website. Enjoy!
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Good Morning. I just voted for
@JoeBiden
and
@KamalaHarris
because I want to live. Have a great day.
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Good morning. I purchased Herschel Walker's domain name and now I'm going to build him his website before the runoff.
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Unblocked MAGA brother’s number. Called him. Laughed. Hung up. Blocked again.
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FACT:
@laurenboebert
wrote herself a check from her campaign account in the amount of $21,199.52 for “mileage reimbursement.”
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Governor Greg Abbott failed to secure so now I own the domain and I’ve created his new website. Enjoy!
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BREAKING: MAGA brother's response to the Trump audio: "Well that's just straight up corruption." Welcome back, brother ❤️
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PLEASE HELP: Uber dropped off MAGA neighbor who’s now staring at his front door because he’s locked out and nobody’s home. We currently have dangerous rain and wind conditions. What’s the best nighttime snack that I can enjoy with my glass of Macallan 12 Whiskey?
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UPDATE: MAGA neighbor voted
@JoeBiden
. “It’s one thing to come in and shake things up, but it’s a whole nother ball game when you don’t man up and take responsibility for families losing lives and jobs.”
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Matt Gaetz was one of many behind the riots and he needs to go through some things.
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Went to buy groceries. Only 4 different brands of oat milk. Used to be 5. This is America. Devastated.
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Today, 87 complaints came from the Albany, NY area concerning my website asking to have it taken down for harassment. Please stop retweeting.
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someone please tell me this is photoshopped and that meghan mccain is not promoting her book.
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Kari Lake offered me $150 for her campaign domain. I declined and built her new website. She then blocked me. Here it is.
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It really is this simple - Vote for the guy that didn’t kill over 200,000 people.
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MAGA brother called me a "Fucking idiot" in public then angrily attempted to slam the power sliding door of his minivan but it slowed down by itself and eventually latched as we all watched silently.
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This is Jake Settle. Jake is the Press Secretary for
@laurenboebert
. Lauren told Jake to use his government email to send me a cease and desist order to take down my website, . Jake is not a lawyer. Jake is an idiot.
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Don't retweet this story.
@EliseStefanik
is already angry that I built this website for her.
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2 days ago there was an “anonymous” offer for my website domain . Last night, Greg Abbott bussed over 50 migrants out of Texas and left them in the freezing cold in front of VP Kamala Harris’s home. Website is live and being updated.
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Just a reminder that In August 2017, Joel Osteen refused to open his Lakewood Church, which can house 16,800 people, to serve as a shelter after Hurricane Harvey devastated Houston, Texas.
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Hey
@GOPLeader
- You failed to secure your campaign domain so I got it and built you a truthful website. Enjoy!
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Congressman fails to secure campaign domain. I got it. No punches pulled.
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Lauren Boebert is the human version of an email missing its attachment.
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I purchased and built him a truthful website and it’s being reported to my host as “stolen” and “full of malicious attacks” so don’t retweet because he’s fragile.
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Lauren Boebert is using friends and employees to run her burner accounts. I have the receipts. Goodnight!
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Kiddo is under the weather. He loves photos of dogs. Please send dogs. Thank you.
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Let’s be clear: My new website for Elon will have a page tracking his jet.
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Good morning. My brother insists Trump won the election and that Mike Lindell is coming out with some “shocking information” so I’m currently accepting applications for a big brother or sister. Thanks.
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For absolutely no reason this is my favorite photo of Mark Meadows.
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Hi
@KariLake
- You endorsed a guy who says Jews are evil. This Jew owns your campaign domain and will release your new website soon ❤️✡️
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You failed to secure a primo domain name and boy howdy do I have a doozy of a website comin for ya tonight,
@EliseStefanik
🖕
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Man who attacked trans children and their parents fails to secure his domain name. I got it and will now use it against him. Watch closely, Texas. Click the link.
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MAGA brother got word to me yesterday to "buckle up" for Trump's big announcement this morning.
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Your husband pulled his dick out in a bowling alley and showed it to a minor. You were there.
CNN cancelled an appearance from Byron Donalds last night but had no problem allowing Jeffrey “Zoom” Toobin on for an appearance.
This is why the media has become a joke.
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Hello - I’m the one who purchased the domain for
@ChayaRaichik10
and I’m currently building her website.
After many warnings “advising” me to not move forward, I’ve decided to release a new page every other day until the full website is finished. Tonight, please enjoy the
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Hi. I don’t know who or how many will actually read this and it’s likely we’ll never meet, but, may I have a hug? Thank you. Goodnight...
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Cancer took my father this year. I have yet to deal with it. He was my biggest fan. He referred to the current gop as a cluster of cancer. “Embarrass them, Toby. They have no empathy. No love. No souls. Most of all, no sense of humor, so they won’t see you comin.”
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I wish POTUS wasn’t suffering from dementia so he could appreciate the full force of how much he’s hated.
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Oliver is already changing the world. He saw this before going private and you’re goddamn right I’ll keep him posted.
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Please visit & to donate and keep the content and websites coming. It seems to be working 🇺🇸❤️
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Secured the domain name for
@GregAbbott_TX
and now I'm gonna build a website to troll him and bring some truth. Retweet.
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BREAKING: After purchasing the campaign domain for Kari Lake and building her a truthful website, I've just received clearance to add KARI CAM. Click the link for a live look at campaign headquarters.
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BREAKING: endorses
@PhilArballo2020
because
@DevinNunes
forgot to purchase the domain since he’s preoccupied suing randoms with his fragile ego.
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Regardless of how tonight turns out,
@MeidasTouch
has done some extraordinary work in Georgia. Thank you 👊🏼🇺🇸
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I'm no lawyer but is there something wrong with the press secretary for
@laurenboebert
emailing me from his government account to take down my parody website, ?
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U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert received her GED diploma a few months before winning election to the House of Representatives. An acquaintance of Boebert informed me “Someone not only paid for it, but took it for her after she failed the second time.”
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So,
@DonaldJTrumpJr
is super pissed about Hunter Biden standing in victory with his loving father who will be our new President so don’t retweet.
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My father is an Air Force Veteran from The Korean War. He voted early for
@JoeBiden
and told me, “I respect a man who respects my service as well as my friends and comrades who lost their lives. The End.” ❤️🇺🇸
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Beto and Garland calling out a motherf*cker is the new vibe. Follow it!
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My campaign website for Kari Lake has been up for only 24 hours and the website host has already received over 450 complaints...all from Arizona.
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The burner account of
@laurenboebert
tweeted my cameraman’s license plate and full name. Her Press Secretary used his government email to threaten me for my website. Lauren harassed us while filming our documentary. BoBo’s about to go through some things.
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A broker has contacted me with an offer from a lawyer in Flagstaff, Arizona for . The amount would roughly pay for a nice bottle of wine. I turned down the offer and am now drinking wine while finishing Kari Lake's new campaign website.
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My attorney is currently reviewing my criminal complaint against
@LaurenBoebert
which will be sent to the Denver FBI Field Office. Press release to come…
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MAGA brother arrived for Christmas and still insists Trump won so I replaced the wallpaper/screensaver on his phone and changed the password until he wises up 🎅
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Lauren Boebert sent me a cease and desist for my website, , so you can imagine her reaction to this mobile billboard driving around her district. Could you chip in to help me get it going for the road trip? ❤️ Tobes
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The straps are irritating skin around ears after all day wear. Here’s a trick that she says helps tremendously. It goes a long way in giving that extra little comfort.
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My father, Howard L. Morton. Korean War fighter pilot, father to 9, life-long Democrat, and the funniest human I’ll ever know, has passed away at 91. I always told him I’ll never be as funny as him. He always answered, “I know.”
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BREAKING NEWS:
@DonaldJTrumpJr
still a piece of shit who lies, cheats, and does absolutely nothing.
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THREAD: My Dad passed away from cancer earlier this year. He was my biggest fan. When I wrote for South Park, he was there. When I wrote for MadTV, he was there. He laughed. He enjoyed all of it. He was proud, and I felt it.
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Hello
@January6thCmte
- Thank you for taking my information. I look forward to our follow-up 📱
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Hey
@GregAbbott_TX
- While you were lying on Fox News I went ahead and grabbed your domain name to make sure everyone will soon have the correct information on your failures.
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Criminal
@laurenboebert
doesn’t deserve ridicule for getting her GED, she deserves ridicule for getting her GED only AFTER it was advised by the GOP to “get it done for campaign purposes.”
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On the one year anniversary of January 6th I will be tweeting Lauren Boebert’s location.
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With permission from the restaurant across from Shooter’s Grill, we began filming interviews and exterior footage for my website, . After
@LaurenBoebert
began yelling at us from across the street, we decided to pack up. She then followed us to our car...
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Many aren’t aware that
@Pink
played a huge part in helping me advertise and get the word out about my Moms For Liberty website that successfully contributed to their many losses this past election.
Now we’re back at it with a nationwide campaign to continue holding them
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This motherf***er right here with blood on his hands failed to secure his own domain name so I got it and will do my part to make sure Beto takes his job.
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I stood alone with an Impeachment sign in my small neighborhood. People stared and shook their heads. One man yelled that I should "Prepare for Civil War 3." I asked who won the 2nd. "America, dumbass!" Ladies and Gentlemen,
#MAGA2020
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The odds of
@laurenboebert
showing up while you film in Rifle, Colorado for the website, , and harass you for information while accusing you of being a "paid tracker" are very good. Also, she lost this 9 second stare down. Full video tonight.
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I purchased and updated and felt dedicating it to
@DevinNunes
was the right thing to do. But don't tell anyone...
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It seems
@KLoeffler
and
@Perduesenate
aren’t happy with their new websites so don’t retweet. Thanks.
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Great conversation with
@FireBoebert
, the team that brought you the nightmare fueled Madison Cawthorn video. See you soon,
@laurenboebert
❤️
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My father's mother died of complications from a back alley abortion when he was six. She didn't have the means or connections to receive a safe procedure. He never recovered from that. To those who sent domains for me to build a website against SCOTUS and others..I'm all in.
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Look at that face. Look at that stupid goddamn face. The face of a "Snowflake." I want
@DevinNunes
to know that the identities behind the accounts are actually his mom and a super smart cow that escaped his grasps. There. Let's moooove on. Fucking idiot.
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Since we’re unable to go to any bars, tell me what your pets are currently doing, but refer to them as ‘The drunk guy at the end of the bar’...
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The only thing standing between
@MattGaetz
and greatness
is millions of people who are smarter, more attractive, more creative, wiser, sober, thinner, less of a tool, more honest, less of a kiss-ass, and just all around more likable.
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My website for
@laurenboebert
has caused her much grief and she has tried her best to take it down as I raise funds to provide more content, so in the spirit of the holidays I'm begging you, please do not retweet 🦃
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