Ashley Reese
@offbeatorbit
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Writer. Widow. Hates mint chocolate. Got the girlies pressed. #fuckcancer 💌 BAD BRAIN newsletter ↴
NYC via LA
Joined February 2009
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Pinned Tweet
💌 NEW BAD BRAIN 💌 I had a wide ranging chat with viral sensation
@girthmasterr
about crossing lines on the internet, teaching people how to have sex, the dumbest thing he’s spent his new money on, smut ethics, the enduring survival of porn, and who can’t take his dick 🔗 in bio
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adults who are picky eaters are massive turnoffs don’t @ me expand your palate bich!!! Eat a vegetable you’re 28!!!!!!
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oh the baby was right
I just googled four seasons Orlando because of that damn baby and excuse me??
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this was no accident lol look at him 😈
Boy, 4, accidentally buys $2.6K worth of SpongeBob Popsicles on Amazon
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Idk what I was expecting but it wasn’t that. I’m honestly wheezing 😭
I didn't know Miss World was a thing still, but I've been watching how the French woman introduces herself for about half an hour
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Yassified Snape
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if you're eligible for a vaccine in your state stop doing this noble "i'll wait for someone at higher risk" shit and fucking get your vaccine my GOD.
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That’s how you know you were a valued colleague tbh lol
One of our lawyers quit our firm to go work for another firm. This was her going away cake today. 👇
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stormi is such a sweetie, whoever is raising her is doing a good job!
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I think about this at least twice a month.
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He ate, sorry. Earth Wind & Fire ass outfit.
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Got my first tattoo today, a portrait of my late husband 💗 glad I’ll always have him with me in more ways than one.
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sweet willow please cancel my student loan debt ♡
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Anyone who was slamming that blonde woman for crying about her 9-5 commuter lifestyle is a bootlicker of the highest degree.
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To this day I still can’t believe they did this.
Happy 9/11 to whoever made the bonkers creative decision to end REMEMBER ME (2010) this way:
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When you’ve never met a Mexican in your life.
Say what you will about emos, but it was probably the last popular teenage subculture for a very long time that was entirely White and straight coded.
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Why are half of them getting peed on?
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The fact that they’re absolutely talking about 9/11 here fhdjdjdj
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Him smoking indoors like he’s French or something this is so…
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I saw videos of her jumping around and dancing and singing and stuff and I don’t mean to sound weird but as a fellow big tiddy girlie I’m DYING to know what bra she was wearing bc the girls are SITTING and SECURE 😭 SYDNEY PLS PUT YOUR BIG TIDDY SISTERS ON!
Sydney Sweeney at Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour
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Well I just did some research and holy shit it is quite literally the size of a bottle of wine
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She has to know by now right?
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I literally turn my phone all the way off whenever I'm at a movie theater bc the idea of my phone making any noise in the audience makes me wanna die... so the idea that people are just ON THEIR PHONES BROWSING TIKTOK DURING A MOVIE IS INSANE TO ME WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN?
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now would be a good time for the dems we already voted into office to do their damn jobs
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It finally happened: saw a guy try to enter the security line only to be told his boarding pass says he should be at La Guardia, not JFK 😭
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When are we getting the Clueless closet software? We can send people to the moon, but we don’t have the Clueless closet software yet?
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lol oh my god?
'Huge surprise': Michigan family welcomes first daughter in husband's family since 1885
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I saw someone say she’s riff raff for lesbians and I can’t stop thinking about it
i’m so fascinated by this hideous dance move jojo siwa keeps doing that i had to make a montage of it
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i'm not exaggerating when I say that this is deeply unsettling to me. Like, to my CORE.
couple of new roommates moved in on the 1st - just caught a glimpse of one of their rooms and this is how she set up her bed??? absolutely fascinating
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that judge who oversaw their divorce proceedings should have been disbarred lol
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No he’s a keeper this is FUNNY.
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i stand by my theory that a lack of forced exposure to music--both old and new--thanks to algorithms, a reduced dependence on television and radio, etc, has made gen z a lot more culturally stunted
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Might as well post this here too, but for folks who wanted to know how our wedding came together in one week, here it is ❤️
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not the point but i hate how this photo has an AI sheen to it.
Halle Berry says Drake didn’t get her permission to use photo of her as promo for his new single ‘Slime You Out’ ft. SZA:
“Didn’t get my permission. That’s not cool I thought better of him… when people you admire disappoint you, you have to be the bigger person and move on !”
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someone tell them they're getting ripped off
40 years ago, 4 women bought an apartment building together in D.C. for $75K. Now, they plan to sell it for well over $1,000,000.
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og barbenheimer
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Met via OkCupid in 2014. We had a bit of a rocky start but we fell for each other hard that summer. We were together for nearly 9 years until he passed away from cancer in December. We got married in our backyard and family planned in such a way so that I’ll still have our kid ♥️
Couples… don’t all speak at once but… how did you meet your other half?
Indulge me I’m a romantic!
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Oh my god just have fruit juice at this point???
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Not this getting promoted in 2022…
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scully was allowed to have a 3/4 angle pose in her FBI ID badge that's crazy. that's glamour
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Idc about people smoking cigs, but banning it from public indoor spaces is one of the few great decisions we’ve made lol.
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Interracial relationship PR at an all time low pls stop with this 😭
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I'm 33 now who gives a shit lol
I had mine at 16 and I was embarrassed like,,,, can’t imagine how you feel
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we were warned and still I felt unprepared 😭
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Imagine being a working adult with bills and debt and maybe even children and thinking that a $70k income household is "rich." Not comfortable, but RICH. You guys are so wildly unserious lol.
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Kate having cancer makes a lot of sense. Hope she recovers. It's also insane that the palace's PR let this get so out of control. I thought they ran a tight ship over there.
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People on this app think having a salary of $75k makes you part of the 1% so this will go over their heads
Here’s a clip of an actress breaking down how her money is spent
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Honestly i don't know if I even consider this a leftist viewpoint but... I am strongly against editing sexism, racism, other offensive material out of books, television shows, films, etc for modern audiences. Maybe offer a disclaimer, but leave it as is.
leftists what’s your leftist opinion that will have leftists leftisting at you like this lefistly on the leftist compound?
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i just hissed
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This is one of the most incredible sentences I’ve ever read.
Frances Bean Cobain, daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, and Riley Hawk, son of Tony Hawk and Cindy Dunbar, got married in a ceremony officiated by R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe:
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I cannot believe how many very online people over the age of 25 are just now finding out about Neil Patrick Harris’s disgusting Amy Winehouse cake…
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Robert Ellis Stengel
October 18 1988 - December 8 2022. Love you forever, Rob.
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This was obviously done by a swiftie and is harmless like why snitch tag corporate???
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this payoff was incredible my god
The way I screamed after watching the end of this video! 😩😩😩😂
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I think one of the most alarming things about all of this is that they really think we’re fucking stupid and don’t have eyes.
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Dominican running a NYC AT&T store like the Navy.
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I’m so sick of people responding to my concerns about the Palestinian people over the last few weeks with “think of your Jewish friends!” Yeah, I’m thinking about how they’re getting arrested at pro-Palestinian protests!!! And the ones who aren’t don’t support Israel. What now?
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Basic on basic crime
incredible things happening on not like other girls tiktok
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Getting in touch with the ancestors.
why are white girls so obsessed with serial killers
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Oh Sydney Sweeney might have conservative family members? Okay. lol. Anyway.
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well, for anyone worried about whether this movie will address that whole age gap thing appropriately...this might be a clue!
Elvis Presley estate officials have slammed Sofia Coppola’s ‘PRISCILLA’ starring Cailee Spaeny and Jacob Elordi.
Priscilla Presley, meanwhile, supports the film: “I am very excited to see the interpretation of my book by the masterful Sofia Coppola.”
()
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Yeah that sounds like it fucking blows, mimi
Idk who you’re referring to, but I was catching 3 busses to work and walking for an hour and catching 2 buses after work…while pregnant…z not getting any sympathy from me
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lol people are SO mad at her but she's right.
i absolutely love dogs but i think we’ve become entirely too permissive as a culture with thinking they can and should be taken everywhere
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I will never forgive tiktok for making it common place for ppl to censor themselves so much that I'm seeing ppl use aughts era internet phrases/letter and number combinations as fill ins. i cannot believe i'm seeing seggs and s3x in 2023
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I would have taken this to the grave.
Mother of teenager who died on Titan sub said she gave her place to son
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look if this man chatted me up at a party i'd absolutely go home with him idc if he's nuts
The way JFK’s grandson just never has a normal or cohesive Instagram story
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i was engaged from start to finish.
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I need people to stop lying to themselves lol the man said $2000 check not $1400 check. The Georgia Dems ran on $2000 checks, not a $1400 check to supplement the $600 one. Stop playing in peoples faces with this bootlicking behavior already.
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I know this is old now but it’s so bizarre that this dialogue was given the green light. I don’t remember Disney Channel doing much overtly religious content when I was a kid.
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Is Topher Grace the only normal person from that show?
#DannyMasterson
update… I just picked up the letters from Masterson’s family and friends sent to Judge Olmedo ahead of today’s sentencing. Still going through them but actors
@aplusk
and
@MilaKunisv
both speak highly of their friend, now convicted rapist
@dannymasterson
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I'm a 29-year-old black woman who cares about m4a, education, childcare, and stronger safety nets for every American. I support Bernie Sanders in getting us there. I ALSO think he's fumbled the bag a bit. I'm bored, so here's a thread of things I think he needs to improve upon.
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The way she and Shemar Moore were dirty talking during work hours.
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I'm still shocked this is getting airtime. What a significant shift in just the last week alone.
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i forgot who it was but someone was like way too many of you guys have tummy aches on the daily and it's true like...it's time to see a gastroenterologist like I'm not even tryna be funny
we need medicare for all so ppl can get the ibs treatment they desperately need
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I get it.
The moon looks crazy tonight... Imma chill out here for a little and just visualize my success n vibe to the scenary
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Fascinated by Kylie’s cottagecore era. Is timothee taking these pics lol
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sorry we're bringing back yearning again
“Elliott is six foot three, and I can't believe the two of us slept together in my narrow twin bed. As he told me years later when we were reminiscing, "Now that's intimacy. I've never slept better in my life"”
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Mad that he’s gonna have me defending France. A lot of ridiculous things here but let’s be clear: if you can’t find good food in Paris that’s a skill issue.
He said take off them rose colored glasses Paris is the ghetto 😭😭😭
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Tbh I like when movies have actors who don’t look like they were created in the CW laboratory.
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At a pool party with Alex Turner y’all want anything?
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This is the type of dumb shit people who haven’t had to be a caregiver for someone with terminal cancer would say. There is nothing wrong with this video.
Y’all there is an Instagram influencer making cutesy videos about her grandma choosing MAiD (assisted suicide). I might throw my phone out the window.
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Ain’t no way she works in an office.
Ladies, I believe we've been summoned. I think we all need this bag and everything in it. 🥲🥰
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Finally. Haven’t read yet but this man is still a raging alcoholic right?
EXCLUSIVE: Sixteen current and former staffers say Jimmy Fallon’s erratic behavior spoiled their “dream” of working on The Tonight Show.
“You never knew which Jimmy we were going to get and when he was going to throw a hissy fit.”
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I really don’t care for her whole thing tbh.
“I couldn’t google you, you’re not there yet” LMFAOOO WHY OFFSET READ HER DOWN😭😭😭😭
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