M
@m2palmer
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2,140
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267
Media
77
Statuses
4,191
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How good were them 3/4 months you didnt hear a peep about covid, run it back asap
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Why does my bird treat washing her hair like she has to go serve in the afghan war
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Lockdown dont sound like that bad of an idea tbh, bank account could definitely do with one anyway
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not to get deep but it’s scary to think that some people i know wouldnt even say a word to me if they saw me on a night out but if i died would be claiming how much they love/miss me on socials, very fucked up generation.
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“do you remember what you did last night” has got to be the worst sentence you can ever hear
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Gary Neville when theres a bad tackle
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Who actually turns round n thinks their 18 plate golf needs its own instagram page ???
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find a banger > rinse it for a week > absolutely despise it, thats how it goes every single time.
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if you didnt have a sick summer regardless of rona last year thats on you🤣
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“early bird catches the worm” shutup mate its just the time you start work
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If my nan had balls she’d be my grandad
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some ungrateful shit bags about these days
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u know you had a heavy weekend when your banks asking if your own transactions are fraud
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i say memories over money but i go out get busted and don’t remember anything ffs
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taking a £750 loan out when i was 18 pissed up in turkey w a 1000% APR might be one of the worst mistakes i ever made😭😭 £3600 to pay back for £750 idec if im posting my Ls on the TL im tryna spread awareness 😭😭
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if FOMO werent a thing my bank account would look something like that of jeff bezos
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Social media & drugs.
In your opinion, why do you think most people suffer from depression?
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waking up in ur own bed & seeing your mates in kitchens is what winning feels like
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They deserve to get this kinda treatment 😂😂
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the king of all low quality videos
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£16 for a pick n mix at cineworld no wonder no one goes cinema no more, just had to sell the house ffs
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could post a photo of me @ 6am bolted up at an afters on facebook n my auntie/mum/nan would still comment “lovely picture of you matt xx”
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Holla ya boy for the pool work geezer has got a serious job on his hands
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imagine i slept on my lil brothers trampoline all night after eastenderz cos i forgot my keys & now ive missed work
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if you’re planning on snitching on house parties tonight, have yourself a celebratory drink from the yellow bottle behind the toilet 👋🏼
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Fuse must’ve been a hell of a party cos you lot aint shut the fuck up about it for 2 days now
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Fuck me they using a JBL speaker ?? 😂
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working & ghosting the winter with a 10/10 looks like a very good shout, cant lie
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i need a breathalyser instead of face id for my phone, couple stellas and bit of columbian & ive messaged 4 exs & replied to a story highlight from 2016
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June 21st is not far away at all now, roll on zero social distancing & get me back in that dance asap
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being singles all well n good till it hits sunday n ur spooning ya pillow
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How do people do packet in raves id end up talking business proposal to my pals while in the dance
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Bibi dont sleep does he😂
Wholesome moments at Michael Bibi’s secret sunrise set at Glastonbury🌙⛅️✨🧡
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Cant wait to go on holiday to ibiza and put ibiza/essex in my insta bio
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Why do people with minted parents & a good upbringing trap white i really dont get it🤣
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his birds fuming
Just woke up from a 17 hour sleep.
Thankyou to everyone that joined the parties this weekend. 🙏🏼
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Kid u not some bird on my facebook friends has called her kids Armani & Creed, fucksake
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mad how the government could tell us we can only eat ham and cheese toasties to stop the spread of covid n we’d just have to get on with it n do it
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Whoever thought of that idea to put people i don’t follow on my feed on ig needs shootin in the head
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and you’re trying to tell me humans, without no technology whatsoever built these. i think the fuck not bruv
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Living on this planet
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always the ones you never expected to be mates with that become your closest people
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prince andrew using tax payer money to pay off a sex assault case is absolute noncesense
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cba for them dark n dingy rooms anymore, open air motives n festivals >>>
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people now a days think “manifesting” is gonna get your further than putting in graft 😂😂
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if you ain’t contemplating your life choices on a monday morning you really didnt do the weekend right
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a hot country, beats, my people & a fuck off cocktail in my hand would go down an absolute treat right now ngl
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If you aint a WHP on the 27th i really dk for you, may be one of the best lineups ive ever seen
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my mum to 7 year old me when i wouldnt eat the last couple bites of dinner
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working w lazy people does my swede in mate, how do you live ur life doing the bare minimum 😴
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my ex girlfriend should be somewhere in there
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if you’re over the age of 16 n still putting “recent” on your story i seriously dunno for you bruv
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he had to step to her to get banged tho??? he shouldve been on the floor in first 5 seconds of the vid
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