Lyz Lenz
@lyzl
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New York Times Bestselling author. Journalist. Find me at .
Iowa, USA
Joined March 2008
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I just got to yell to my 10yo son, “Just because I’m a New York Times bestseller doesn’t mean you can skip piano practice! You can skip practice when you become a best seller!”
Anyway. I’m a NYT best seller.
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I switched to an iPhone and the joy and relief of all my group chats has been so overwhelming. I didn’t not realize the violence I was doing with my choice of phone.
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Today, I met a woman who works as a blacksmith in a National Park and I really screwed up. I didn’t realize that was an option.
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The teacher who told my son "men are the providers and women are the caregivers" just emailed to say she needs a cantaloupe for the class tomorrow and damn, I sure hope one of those dads she emailed provides
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Good for who? Over and over the data shows that while men benefit from marriage and women do not.
But other data shows that in countries with liberal divorce laws, women earn more, there are fewer instances of domestic violence, marriages last longer.
I think the central thesis - being in a stable, fulfilling, committed marriage is good for the soul and happiness and it would be good if more people were in those - is perfectly defensible. But it’s a very long way from that to policy.
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When an upper middle class white lady says marriage is working for her…like yeah that’s the point of white supremacy and patriarchy, bb. It works for you and no one else.
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Yesterday, I dressed in a nice summery dress and my daughter looked at me and said, "You look like you learned to drive in a covered wagon." And I still haven't recovered.
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Today, one of my kids showed me her to do list organized by subject and urgency, and my other kid walked into the wall while trying to read a book.
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My daughter is 13 today. I have a teenager and guess what? It’s awesome. We watch Tv shows together and share memes and she’s quick witted and gives me shit. And is just a delight to be around. What a joy.
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It's fascinating to me how many interviewers ask me how much misery is too much misery in a marriage and...none? It's incredible how radical it is, even in 2024, for women not to be miserable.
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Is it too late to quit it all and become a blacksmith in a national park?
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My book went into a third printing this week along with this lil notice on the cover
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Jezebel was the site that helped launch my career. It was a place where women could unabashedly write about culture, politics, and everything with voice, humor, and the whole range of human emotions. The fact that it was killed by inept men is truly a metaphor.
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Also if anyone wants to cancel me (again) I can do notes app apologies like a real one
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All the arguments saying marriage makes you happier, willingly ignores that marriage is where so many women experience life-ending violence. It’s not a secret. Society just doesn’t care.
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It's unfortunate that everyone in power has suddenly become a Simpson's meme
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I wonder if the men who are sending me "I am in a happy marriage! You are just bitter!" emails know that their wives are also sending me "We are still married but I don't know why" emails
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My publisher (Penguin Random House) is now suing the state of Iowa per a press release sent today
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Took myself out to dinner and a Gen Z waiter said my outfit was giving "grandpa in a memory care unit in all the best ways" ☠️
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Every time I have published a book, a large number of men will enter my DMs to say they haven’t read the book but that they want to discuss it with me and want me to consider some deep questions they assume I haven’t thought of but are in the book. Just astonishing behavior.
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@MediumSizeMeech
What about if I make a video where I look like I have the flu and stand before a barn wall or a kitchen with murder vibes?
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Women have been having divorce parties since 1900s. Grow up.
Is Divorce actually a thing to be celebrated?🤔🤔
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"Why have you never told me who Dylan Thomas or Patti Smith are?! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER?!"
--my 13yo daughter, furious, spitting rage at me today
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I can’t imagine a more ringing endorsement for my book than these ghouls hating it.
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Happy pub day to my fiery third book This American Ex-Wife! Here is a picture of me as a bride and here is a picture of me in the dress 15 years later before I burned it.
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I still had to take kids to swim practice and music lessons and do homework duties on my book launch day, but my friends surprised me with a little party at a local bar and I feel so incredibly loved
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It’s because marriage is pretty oppressive and women often find themselves happier single than married. Hope that helps.
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If you just heard me on
@MPR
with
@AngelaDavisMPR
I stand by my no hiking on first dates rule because that's how you end up alone in the woods with a white nationalist, take it from me
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Who broke Noah Kahans heart? I just want to thank her for these bangers
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We must make Iowa more welcoming for white men. Won’t someone think about the white men?!
"So one of the first things we did was establish learning communities so that a young man, young white man, from rural Iowa, could come and be in a learning community and find the place where they could belong."
TONIGHT at 6:00
@KCRG
- how Iowa universities are overhauling DEI
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The main things holding back women are the people taking away our reproductive rights
The Caitlyn Clark hate from other jealous women basketball players (former and current) is proof the biggest thing holding women back is other women.
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I love living in Iowa because for days my daughter was begging me to buy these cool new protein bars her friends have and when I finally got the name of these bars I realized they’re a cheapo Aldi brand.
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I told my tween daughter last night that a lot of people felt bad for my kids because of my writing and she said, “To those people I’d like to say one thing.” Then she put both middle fingers in the air and twerked.
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To everyone telling me about which phones you have in the replies, I don’t care 🥰
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This is patently false. Most Iowans don't participate in the caucus and so many don't like it and advocate for change. To find them, you'd just have to expand your reporting beyond diners and a caucus site in Grimes.
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@lpolgreen
I’m in two signal groups and one is now moving to iMessage because I was the only one who was a problem 😭
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It's TIME! My THIRD book This American Ex Wife will be published on February 20 and is ready for pre-order!
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Money is so often the thing that traps women in bad relationships. Once I divorced, found equality, and was able to make money, it became my freedom.
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Wait so the man who asked IA's governor to give millions of state $$ to a sketchy COVID testing scheme that enriched his tech friend, & the man who began a non profit for iowans that paid out more in executive compensation than it did in aid would support a convicted rapist?
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis wrote letters in support of Danny Masterson, who ended up being sentenced to 30 years in prison for raping two women.
Ashton reportedly called him a ‘role model’ while Mila commented on his ‘exceptional character.’
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Your marriage must not be that great if you think my book is gonna topple it over. Maybe your wife does need a copy.
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Last night I hugged my 12yo daughter and she said, “A New York Times bestseller and you still can’t remember to shower.”
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I had such a great time in mpls at the bookstore where I used to go to buy books for my college classes. But this time people were buying my books and a college professor came by
@magersandquinn
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I just wanna know if male journalists have women who constantly email them to tell them about articles they should read on topics they've written about. Like, I just wanna know.
Because I'm guessing no
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thanks to the haters for yelling at me this weekend, it's been amazing for book sales
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The thing no one talks about enough is how none of these political candidates actually make sense when they talk. Like DeSantis just said something about his friend penny who was left to die in a pan? What?
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Tonight I did a book event with a dear friend who is a man and without fail someone asked him how he felt doing a book event with an anti marriage woman and I just want you all to know no one has ever asked him how women feel about his writing
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Even the worst marriage still benefits men. And that's why I don't really listen when men talk about how pro-marriage they are. Anyway. I loved this chat with
@hilella
about my freedom and my right to happiness.
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This has never been about the well-being of children only the subjugation of women
The year is 2024 and four states have laws which disallow a divorce to be finalized if the woman is pregnant. Missouri, Texas, Arizona, and Arkansas.
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E Jean Carroll did what few people had the guts to do....hold a man accountable
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And This American Ex-Wife is in a second printing!!! Thank you all for reading this book and passing it off to your moms and friends and husbands. 🔥👰♀️
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@HunterH65738826
stable for who? fulfilling for who? husbands add on average 7 hours of labor to a marriage a week! 7 hours of labor they don't do.
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Incredibly daft framing here as Democrats "refusing to help" -- it's not one party's job to nanny the other
NEW: Democrats are holding firm and refusing to help Republicans out of House speaker mess
They're still behind Jeffries.
No serious talks of a coalition speaker.
Dem leaders are trashing Jim Jordan as an "insurrectionist," election denier, extremist.
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Anyway buy my book, I argue vociferously against this shallow “marriage is good for the soul” rhetoric
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you are telling me in the era of the Barbie movie and Taylor Swift you cannot figure out how to make money off a website focused on women? that's a YOU problem not a culture problem
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Everyone today fighting about whether marriage is good or not, I literally wrote an ENTIRE book about this topic. It's coming out in February.
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one of my sisters works for a lawyer and she's sending potential divorce clients links to my book
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The number of women who tell me they can’t let their husbands see them read my book is too many. Like men, why are you so insecure that the person you say you love has to hide a 288 page book from you?
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two divorce books on the NYT best sellers list the patriarchy is shaking
✨SPLINTERS is
#7
on the NYT bestseller list!!!!! Touched down in Iowa to this news as if I were traveling back in time to deliver it to a former version of myself ✨
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Everyone out here taking about fathers and daughters bonding over the nfl but me and my son are bonding over ncaa basketball
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I’m still working on my newly found love of basketball because today someone told me they love the nuggets and I was like “hell yeah with ranch” but they did not mean the chicken kind
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Sounds pretty great tbh
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You: How’s the writing going?
Me: *five Reddit threads deep on the divorce of a figure skating champion* GREAT
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Better than what a lot of women store….a meat sack that can’t find the clit or ketchup in a grocery store 😘
@lyzl
My marriage definitely works but I’d be lying if I said I don’t envy you having an empty side in your bed so you have somewhere to put your Velveeta log and tear-soaked tissues.
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Anyway, read my book. 🔥👰♀️
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Tonight I made my kids angry at me and I had to apologize. I’m going to tell you what I did so you can learn from my mistakes…..please understand, I’m just a human. I fail.
Okay.
I made them a plum torte and served it with vanilla ice cream.
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Maria Shriver loved my book, y'all
Check out
@lyzl
on
@TODAYshow
!
Learn more about her new book, THIS AMERICAN EX-WIFE, at the link!
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It's easier for a child of 16 to get married in American than it is for a 40yo to get a divorce.
NEW from
@ColinGBooth
: NH GOP State Rep Jess Edwards defended child marriage in New Hampshire, saying girls as young as 16 who were "ripe" and "fertile" should maintain the ability to get married in the state, sparking widespread backlash.
#NHPolitics
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Also I just got word my book is on the Indie best sellers list! This is amazing because I would lie down in traffic for my independent bookstores.
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I see the white supremacist found this tweet so buy my book and read the entire argument that’s so persuasive my inbox is full of women leaving their marriages
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I am once again begging supposedly smart pundits to stop uncritically citing the Institute for Family Studies as evidence of anything except conservative bias and shoddy research that aims to oppress women and queer people
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every time a man calls me "bitter" online I will be screenshotting it and using it to encourage their partners to buy my book. please keep it up, sales are going splendidly
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journalism about women by women is actually profitable and the fact that men in media can't make money off of it is more telling about their inability to understand culture than anything else
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In my interview with
@adriennemwest
I got to finally answer the question about how men will feel about the book
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About do go on the hottest radio show in Iowa
@IowaPublicRadio
talking about ex wifery 🔥👰♀️🔥
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This American Ex-Wife
It was fucked of times, it was the found out of times.
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"If you’re in a marriage and your wife is unhappy, that’s a bad marriage. And I don’t think enough men realize that, because even the worst marriage still benefits a man in the end, because he is still getting free child care and his dinner made every night."
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My book, This American Ex Wife, is out today. I did an interview with
@esquire
about it and you can read it here.
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