I Am Devloper
@iamdevloper
Followers
433,706
Following
0
Media
917
Statuses
7,068
just your friendly neighbourhood printer fixer 💸 promotional content: merch:
UK
Joined April 2012
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
México
• 1326658 Tweets
Morena
• 767833 Tweets
casillas
• 471596 Tweets
Xóchitl
• 416357 Tweets
CDMX
• 342428 Tweets
The Loyal Pin is Coming
• 322584 Tweets
PREP
• 258252 Tweets
緊急地震速報
• 209831 Tweets
AMLO
• 181851 Tweets
El INE
• 139735 Tweets
PRIAN
• 112556 Tweets
Maynez
• 92221 Tweets
Televisa
• 81118 Tweets
#BILLKINBAGUCCI
• 80010 Tweets
Oilers
• 59585 Tweets
$GME
• 53379 Tweets
Natalie
• 30049 Tweets
Edmonton
• 27238 Tweets
Otros 6
• 24751 Tweets
Bucaramanga
• 22716 Tweets
Kaveh
• 22062 Tweets
McDavid
• 16742 Tweets
Tommie
• 13113 Tweets
SmangatPRABOWO UntukNKRI
• 13056 Tweets
KitaKOMPAK KitaKOKOH
• 12258 Tweets
kcon
• 11763 Tweets
グッズ・ボイス販売
• 11394 Tweets
1969:
-what're you doing with that 2KB of RAM?
-sending people to the moon
2017:
-what're you doing with that 1.5GB of RAM?
-running Slack
498
32K
74K
"full-stack" now means you can:
build front-ends
write back-ends
handle devops
start a podcast
curate a newsletter
crack an egg with one hand
animate a Pixar movie
dunk
408
7K
25K
Elon Musk: I'm putting people on Mars!
Developers: Fantastic, more timezones to support.
174
10K
23K
Remember, a few hours of trial and error can save you several minutes of looking at the README.
111
7K
19K
*google an issue*
* find relevant GitHub Issue*
> Ah, 2017! This must've been fixed by now!
*scroll through 4 pages*
_h4t0n commented 7 days ago_
> any progress on this?
GODDAMMIT.
181
4K
18K
when you're reminded you wrote the world's biggest social network in PHP
131
6K
17K
employee: I want growth in my role
company: *installs ping pong table*
employee: autonomy?
company: *creates fully-stocked snack room*
employee: fulfilment.
company: *employs a live DJ in the office*
employee: *quits*
company: some people just aren't a good culture fit.
91
4K
16K
How to start a business:
1. Find a problem
2. Create a solution for it
3. Profit
Apple:
1. Create a problem
2. Sell an adapter for it
3. Profit
104
5K
16K
Marie Kondo: What is this?
Me: Its called Jira
Marie: Does it Spark Joy
Me: Absolutely not
Marie: Thank it, and then discard it
118
6K
16K
Always enjoy seeing someone trying to exit Vim for the first time.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHRHRGRGRGRRRGURBHJB EORWPSOJWPJORGWOIRGWSGODEWPGOHEPW09GJEDPOKSD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0924QU8T63095JRGHWPE09UJ0PWHRGW
18K
308K
724K
157
5K
16K
Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?
Me: buy a domain name for the side project idea we've had for 15 seconds
Therapist: No
198
3K
15K
> we're looking for a junior developer with the experience of a senior developer for the salary of an intern
198
7K
15K
interviewer: if you can explain what deadlocks are, I’ll hire you
me: hire me, and I’ll explain deadlocks
135
2K
15K
1/3 of US bandwidth is used by Netflix...
the rest is used by `rm -rf node_modules && npm install`
70
7K
14K
"can you hop onto a quick Zoom, it'd be easier to walk you through it"
131
2K
13K
CDC: to avoid the spread of the coronavirus, self-isolate and stay indoors, avoiding other people
Programmer: I’ve been preparing for this my whole life
63
3K
13K
90% of programming is asking the right question so the answer shows up on page 1 of Google’s search results
117
2K
13K
Me after sitting on mute for 59 minutes in a Zoom call to say “nope, nothing from me”
55
2K
12K
Steps to Browsing a Website in 2018:
1. okay I'll accept cookies
2. yeah okay I'll disable my adblocker
3. sorry I don't want to sign up for your newsletter
...
15. *closes tab*
153
5K
12K
interview: sort binary tree
job: manually update csv files
74
2K
12K
I’m a developer seeking a job in:
⚪️ a startup
⚪️ a corporate
🔘 the woods, making furniture with my hands and not speaking to anyone
108
2K
12K
programming progression
year 0: I know nothing
years 1-2: I know some things
years 3-4: I don't know what I don't know
years 4-4.5: I know *everything*
years 4.5-10+: I know nothing
162
3K
12K
client: what do you charge?
freelancer: what’s your budget?
120
2K
11K
The software development process
i can’t fix this
*crisis of confidence*
*questions career*
*questions life*
oh it was a typo, cool
110
10K
11K
the mixing of coding styles on this billboard is not ok
250
2K
11K
being a programmer and watching someone "hack" a computer on a TV show is like being a nurse and watching someone in a movie take blood with a carrot.
148
3K
10K
How I Hacked My Morning Routine:
I wiped a production database and now I am 100% definitely awake
83
3K
10K
people who use a VPN to browse the internet because of privacy concerns but then sit in a house full of Alexa devices
64
2K
9K
I feel bad for kids who are currently learning to program by moving shapes and animating dogs as they're gonna be hit with the cold reality of real development which is copy/pasting linux commands and resolving git merge conflicts.
96
3K
9K
Today we celebrate the day when Jeff Goldblum blind deployed untested code into a completely hostile environment and it ran first time 🇺🇸
76
6K
9K
[crypto job interview]
interviewer: do you actually know what blockchain is?
me: no, do you?
interviewer: no
me: so am I hired?
interviewer: I guess
45
2K
9K
Every now and then, ping one of your competitor's websites using an IE6 VM. Keep them on their toes.
72
3K
9K
Running `cd` without immediately running `ls` is like ordering a Big Mac without fries.
I've not seen it done before.
127
2K
9K
You either die a web developer, or live long enough to call yourself a software engineer.
72
2K
9K
[teaching a programming class to 6 yo kids]
> hey kids! welcome to your first "intro to programming" class! ready to learn? ok. today we're gonna learn how to write jira tickets, navigate office politics and how to avoid meetings! coding? nope, you'll rarely get the chance!
81
2K
9K
I
DON'T
FIX
PRINTERS
What‘s something that seems obvious within your profession, but the general public seems to misunderstand?
8K
1K
10K
117
3K
9K
STOP making fun of different js frameworks
Vue is FAST
React is POPULAR
Svelte is COOL
Polymer is BEAUTIFUL
Angular
Aurelia is INTRIGUING
192
2K
8K
*uploads CV*
> thank you, now please input the same data broken up into these 36 form fields
87
1K
9K
if I was dumbledore I would've hid the philosophers stone in jira's ui
73
4K
9K
Debugging is like an onion. There are multiple layers to it, and the more you peel them back, the more likely you're going to start crying at inappropriate times.
62
3K
9K
Being a mediocre developer for 10 years doesn't make you senior.
138
3K
9K
shoutout to all the devops people currently on their parent's wifi trying to fix a database issue in production
53
3K
9K
At every company, there’s always that one person who knows how the whole system works…and they left 4 months ago
77
1K
9K
an escape room, but it’s just endless git merge conflicts. good luck
123
1K
8K
Programming is like a CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE GAME except every path leads to you lying in bed at 2am thinking about a bug you couldn’t fix that day.
65
2K
8K
Just remember: companies would rather pay $25k to a recruiter to replace you than give you a $25k raise
136
942
8K
Me: Flat Earth Society people are just plain silly
Also me: If I run my code again with zero changes, it'll maybe work
75
2K
8K
You say "VP of Engineering", I hear, "hasn't coded in 5 years".
84
2K
8K
googling an issue and finding your own question on stack overflow from 6 months before
58
1K
8K
I've been using Vim for about 2 years now, mostly because I can't figure out how to exit it.
272
12K
8K
Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on this flight?
Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you
Me: Not now Dad
Dad: Not asking for a programmer to help, are they?
Me: Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now
Dad: Go and see if "rm -rf node_modules" helps
98
2K
8K
Every developer: we need to implement an email alert system to notify us if production crashes
Every developer after the first crash: how do we turn off these email alerts?
83
1K
8K
“Once COVID is over” is starting to sound a lot like “once I’ve launched this side project”
56
1K
8K
10 Things You’ll Find Shocking About Asynchronous Operations:
3.
2.
7.
4.
6.
1.
9.
10.
5.
8.
48
5K
8K
when you visit a site you handed over 6 months ago and the client made some changes themselves
43
2K
8K
It's only jQuery if it's from the jQueré region of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling javascript
34
2K
8K
┳┻|
┳┻|
┻┳|
┻┳|
┳┻|
┳┻|
┻┳|
┻┳|
┳┻|
┳┻|
┻┳|
┳┻|
┻┳|
┳┻| _
┻┳| •.•) you can't effectively judge a programmer's technical ability in a 1hr coding interview
┳┻|⊂ﾉ
┻┳|
104
1K
7K
If your code worked first time, you missed something.
If it breaks, you missed something.
You missed something.
70
2K
7K
> Your branch is up to date with 'origin/master'.
.....better just do a git pull anyway, to be sure.
98
1K
7K
before bed: drink peppermint tea, run a bath, meditate, get into bed, read, fill out your gratitude journal, turn the lights out, roll over...
brain: hi, that bug you couldn’t fix earlier was on L34 in helpers.js, bye
ಠ_ಠ
67
2K
7K
[recruiter] hey, I came across your GitHub profile and seeing as it didn’t 404, I think you’d be perfect for this role
41
1K
7K
browser extension idea: find and replace “AI” with “some IF statements“ in articles you read online
ie. VCs invest $1.2B in some IF statements
56
2K
7K
manager: we need to design an admin system for a veterinary centre
dev: ok, this is it, remember your training
class Dog extends Animal {}
50
5K
7K
a bug fix either takes 10 mins or 10 hours there is simply no inbetween
81
1K
7K
Therapist: and what do we do when the tests fail in CI?
Me: keep deleting test files until the build passes
Therapist: no.
66
1K
7K
Day 1:
> will I be continuing with that whiteboard algorithm I was working on in the interview?
> lol no fix that button
19
2K
7K
Serverless is server less in the same way a beef burger is vegetarian because you didn't personally see the cow being killed.
44
2K
7K
dear developers,
if you're heading home for the holidays, leave your family with the most important gift you can give:
set their default browser to Chrome,
sincerely,
this developer
155
2K
7K
The World Health Organization is advising people to follow five simple steps to help prevent the spread of COVID-19:
🧼 1. Wash your hands
💪 2. Cough/sneeze into your elbow
🤦🏻♀️ 3. Don't touch your face
📏 4. rm -rf node_modules && npm i
🏡 5. Stay home if you feel sick
69
1K
7K
Developers, if they:
- approach you with pizza at 5.25pm
That’s not your friend, that’s a PM bribing you to work late.
79
1K
7K
year 1: hoping and praying no-one asks you to do anything on the big scary command line
year 5: if I have to leave the safe haven of my terminal to use some GUI nonsense, someone's gonna pay
49
1K
7K
Not Wordle, just my GitHub contributions activity
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️
40
1K
7K
interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years?
me: look, I don't even have any plans for after this interview...
48
1K
6K
10 lines of code = 10 issues.
500 lines of code = "looks fine."
Code reviews.
104
8K
6K
me explaining to marketing why a 5MB hero image might not be the best idea
65
922
7K
me: do you want it done quickly or do you want it done right?
manager: yes
64
2K
6K
when I think I'm a fairly decent programmer, and then try and align two buttons next to each other in CSS
74
2K
6K
github being down is the closest thing you get to a snow day at school as an adult
48
1K
6K