derangement
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this is a silly way to share fic but here's stuff I've written but didn't want to post to AO3 for various reasons.
if you read and enjoy something then ty ♥
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"Vash isn't feminine" he's a pretty boy with long eyelashes who is wearing a dress-like overcoat. he's feminine. what about it. what's wrong with being feminine. why does feminine mean weak and submissive to some of y'all.
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Legato is just so special. Only human Knives wouldn't kill, only person Vash does. Good job, buddy, you're actually the most important boy in Trigun.
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tbh I'm less interested in "Knives fixing his wrongs" post-canon and more interested in "humanity grapples with the fact that they've been murdering and abusing sentient beings this entire time" post-canon
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still thinking abt that anti-kv person who was like "if someone draws Knives too well I have to check if they're into incest" me too but I get excited about it
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still thinking about that doujinshi. god. "Knives wins" is such a flavor to me because it's always, Knives wins and ruins his life permanently. Knives wins and breaks himself. Knives wins and realizes he'd rather have lost because of what victory means.
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how old do you think Vash was when he realized how young Rem was when she died. which 29 year old did he encounter that made him think, Rem was this old; Rem was this young.
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toxic codependency era KV but it's modern AU where Vash knows it's fucked up that his brother has borderline atticwifed him and designed their entire lives around keeping him close and he's bitter about it but. what's the alternative.
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Vash sighed. "Do you want to do this or not?"
Third time he'd set the needle to Nai's ear. Third time his brother had flinched away, lifting his shoulder defensively, like this hadn't been his idea in the first place.
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Do think it's hot when Vash is real casual about violating Knives' boundaries in post-canon AUs. Especially when he's excusing it as like, exposure therapy. Definitely not revenge or because he likes to see Knives coming apart a little.
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thinking about how Vash compares his scars to Knives' atrocities; Vash trying to atone for what Knives has done with his own body. "An independent will make up for what an independent has done. This is my atonement."
HE HAS A GUN POINTED TO HIS HEAD AFTER ALL THESE YEARS AND THE FOOL IS WORRIED ABOUT VASH’S NEW SCARS
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saw a take claiming that Vash doesn't hate being a plant and I'm not sure how you can come to that conclusion about a man who canonically regrets that he and his brother were born because they're too powerful, and that's terrifying to him
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not that Vash is naive or thought it would be easy, but. thinking abt in the manga, his general vibe of "if not for Knives, I could have lived a normal life" - his eden being a fantasy of being Just Some Guy. how deeply impossible that was, even if Knives hadn't crashed the ships
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I love incompetent shut-in Knives very much but. one brother put together a group of hypercompetent assassins and either inspired or founded an entire cult dedicated to worshipping him, depending on canon. the other ran around crying and getting shot at for 70 years.
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thinking abt how Vash and Knives were as children and how that's still visible in their adult lives, even with their trauma. Knives who was hopeful and gentle-hearted but ultimately wanted to open up; Vash skeptical and guarded in comparison, almost wary.
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what if we all just made shitty paper zines and ran off photocopies for each other, huh. what if we sent each other little trigun yaoi zines in the mail. fuck professional printing, I want something you stapled together.
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the dependents as meddling aunties trying to get their favorite breeding pair twins together.... smth smth access to ancestral extradimensional memories so there's this mythology of twins as blessed mated pairs. Vash visits one of them and it's like.
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Vash has such strong "guy who drags ass out of bed at 1pm" energy that I constantly have to remind myself he actually gets up at the crack of dawn so he can fail to meditate
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Knives doesn't depict himself as a god. btw. if you care. he depicts himself as an avenging angel.
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mindwiped Knives is such a horror story to me - given a chance to reeducate him, the things Vash would teach him. how to run. how to take a bullet. how to be ashamed of what you are. Knives stitching his wounds up and wrapping them is a kind of justice, a righting of wrongs.
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vashwood but Wolfwood is the physically affectionate one. vashwood but it's Wolfwood slinging his arm around Vash's shoulders to give him a noogie and Vash is vibrating out of his skin
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feel like post-canon trimax Vash & Knives would have the most vanilla sex bc they're just. so tired. Vash comes too hard more than once and he gets a tummy ache. Knives is liable to pass out halfway through if it's been a long day.
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Knives absorbing Domina means he has a better idea of what Earth looks like than anybody on NML, and apparently what he learned only made him angrier. on top of the limiters, independents used as tools against their own, continued use of dependents - this makes my brain whirl.
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once again remembering that Knives hasn't had a hug in 150 years
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That Knives has been running on sheer panic and adrenaline since the moment they saw Tesla is so. Obvious and heartbreaking. 24/7 thinking about how he can fix it, not a single thought in his head about what to do after it's "fixed."
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I think one of the things that bothers me about Vash is that despite his preaching, he doesn't actually take any action to make the situation of plants better in any canon (propping them up to continue serving humans without telling anyone they're not mindless is not bettering)
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don't talk enough about Knives' suicidality or Vash's trauma responses, I think
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poking through trimax again (hence why I was like "man Vash IS feminine") and ykw Knives is correct in his response to this entire scene. this is genuinely traumatizing. not even granted a peaceful death. bones cracked open, marrow sucked dry.
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tbh one of the things I love about trimax Knives is you can say he surrounded himself with human versions of the family he lost. a parent, a little brother, a big sister.
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I think smth those of a puritanical bent miss is that kink and porn CAN be an exploration of character. that sex and sexuality are as much an aspect of characterization as anything else, that the way fandom depicts a character having sex can be meaningful.
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I just know that if I had to get up on stage and admit smth embarrassing in front of everyone I know and love, I'd rather say "I ship incest" than "I threaten people and tell them to kill themselves over fictional characters." personally.
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thinking about Vash's disordered eating.... Vash who routinely starves himself gaunt every few years because his heat is coming and he knows he won't be able to resist, but he can't bear the consequences
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Vash after putting Knives in a situation that has him shaking: see? you're fine. relax. I'm right here.
Knives routinely ignored his boundaries for years, he won't die. His reward for putting up with it is Vash being lavishly affectionate while he calms down.
1
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our king of fucking your brother, his brocon vibes are so strong that if you draw him correctly it makes people suspicious
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so much Vash with baby... got me thinking about postcanon trimax Vash realizing he's pregnant only after Knives has apple'd himself.
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iPad baby Vash and Knives, tucked away on a little ship as infants with a tablet chock full of media and Rem's best wishes, sent out to fend for themselves bc she couldn't save them any other way... their entire world is their little ship with its single bunk and each other
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I don't blab about it too much bc I know some ppl will hear "Knives is justified in everything he's done" even tho it isn't what I'm saying, but... like. Knives IS right. He just kinda is. Unfortunately. Mr. Member of an oppressed class fighting an oppressive majority.
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millions knives experiencing the delightful anticipation of a package in the mail
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do the people who clutch their pearls about how tristamp got everyone into incest not realize there is plenty of twincest from the ye old days of 1998 on ff dot net
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Vash pushing for a quickie and then being mad because he's leaking into his underwear all day, because of course he didn't have a condom on him
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that "BDSM is not abuse bc the top is terrified" but in the context of KV where Nai is freaked out, hesitant, landing feather-light ass slaps, and Vash is like. please hit me so hard you break my hip. you big baby.
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and it's Knives who arguably has true friends as an adult at the start of trimax. people who know him, understand him, support him. meanwhile, Vash keeps everyone at arm's length.
Vash having to work hard to be nice; Knives having to work hard to be mean.
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Vash wearing a collar of Knives' metal under that turtleneck send tweet
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scrungly modern AU ecoterrorist hacker Knives who is on house arrest bc Vash helped rat him out. he can seethe all he likes but Vash is like okay but they were literally about to assassinate you so cry some more. idiot.
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record-scratch moment where a plant technician realizes that every plant he put through a last run did, in fact, suffer horrible agony, and that all of her sisters felt her dying through the hivemind.
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if Vash lives with anyone else, anyone at all, I think he'd keep house okay but if he lives alone, he'd be a fucking wreck. self-neglect thru not washing the dishes. looks at it and is like "I'll take care of that later!" and then stays out all day so he doesn't have to
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Vash getting the "when are you going to settle down and give us nieces" question all the damn time,
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Knives small spoon cute but. big spoon Knives, who feels safest with his belly protected and his face against Vash's neck. big spoon Knives tucked between the wall and his brother, a shield between him and the world.
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I understand the ppl who complain about others not drawing Vash's scars accurately, but consider: annoying to draw
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I'm the funniest person to be thinking about this but, given the differences between Vash and Knives and what little we know about plant pregnancies, there's a possibility they aren't twins in the human sense but something more like clones
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rly think it's interesting to consider that Vash and Knives are children of Made Things, that they're born from creatures created for a purpose which resulted in traits not necessarily convenient or pleasant to them
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made myself mad thinking about that fucking apple tree again. "it doesn't matter" Vash should have beaten his ass
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okay sorry I'm keeping most of my rambling to my tumblr but -puts mic too close to mouth- this is the most evil fucking thing Vash says in the entire manga my mind cannot be changed because I'm simply correct about this. end tweet.
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Vash would handle a pregnancy so much better, but I feel like Knives would be the one who would handle having actual real-life children better. sure, he'd be overbearing and annoying, but. emotionally distant attachment issues daddy vs overbearing "be proud of your heritage" papa
1
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the only reason his brother hadn't snapped and done something stupid is because he comes home to Vash at the end of the day. and yeah he's a little miserable, yeah he's lonely, but. his brother loves him (through gritted teeth)
1
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"You're welcome," he laughed, raking his fingers through Nai's silvery hair. Nai simply hummed his thanks.
0
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not trapped in their comfortable apartment in a nice, walkable part of town but trapped in the life Nai has built for them. stopped trying to have actual friends forever ago, so even though he can walk down to the park and chat with people, the only contact in his phone is Nai
0
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Knives being insane about Vash's pregnant belly and everything it signifies (mixed emotions) send tweet
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half of my wips are some variation of "Knives gets what he thinks he wanted and has to confront that he's been lying to himself for most of his life" Knives discovering the reality behind that stick figure sketch of the future
1
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someone please tell Millions Knives it's okay if he would like to just be Some Guy at the end of the day instead of a terrified child with the weight of his entire species on his shoulders
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I just. love him. panicked little man focused so tightly on fixing things, making them better, that he breaks everything else around him in his attempts. 149 years of anxiety-driven fear state bad decisions.
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Vash, half as old again as the oldest human can hope to be naturally, five times older than Rem was, who stopped counting candles long ago, because what does it matter if he's off by a few? Vash who loses years like sand. a man outside of time.
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Vash and Knives' first proper winter on a cold planet. who would complain more. discuss.
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the one downside to KVK is you gotta come up with some separated at birth backstory to write a casual meetcute AU, and then they're identical so the jig is up pretty much immediately
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even the ones who don't agree with Knives are like, he's doing this for you, you know. he'd calm down if you'd go to him. go fuck your brother in the name of love and peace.
1
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Nai looked over his shoulder at his reflection. After a moment's study, he met Vash's eyes in the dirty mirror. Blue to green, his brother's icy eyes tender and still damp. Vash didn't miss the tiny smile before Nai turned to press his face into his stomach.
1
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thinking about how Knives doesn't get violent until he finds out Vash's hair is darkening, too. Elendira's expression as she tells him, how clearly she knows that what she has to say is going to hurt him. it isn't fear on her face - it's compassion.
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Vash insisting humans can change bc in his experience, individual humans can learn and grow, and Knives staring helplessly at a meat grinder of a system designed from the ground up to treat his kind like disposable batteries, one which existed even before he crashed the ships
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hello little brother. your twin misses you terribly, how much long are you going to keep him waiting? and they would know, having access to the hivemind and all of the plants gathered around him sharing info with their sisters in the wastelands.
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thinking about small town plant tech coming to terms with his plant having like. Personhood. hears about it on the radio when shit comes back online and is like "haha funny joke - " but she's unfurled and is staring at him and he's like "uh.... funny joke. right?"
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looking forward to the anti-run Knives zine following all their contributors so I know who to block tbh
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the downside of being Vash's big brother. for Knives. is that in any postcanon situation where they get to be more than like, 200 years old, Vash is going to go "age before beauty :) " and beckon Knives on first every single chance he gets. just to be annoying.
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how can you take a man who wants to be a normal guy so badly it makes him look stupid and claim there is at least no discomfort or unhappiness with what he is (inhuman, dangerous, threatening)
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Knives loving to go down on Vash bc that's his happy place / Vash loving to go down on Knives bc watching his brother go all red and sweaty is incredibly satisfying
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"he hates what Knives does with his body" yes. and the only reason his brother can do such things is because they are plants. because they share a resonance that Knives can manipulate. because under his skin is a weapon, because HE is a weapon.
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Like he hadn't asked Vash to do it so they'd match again, mirror images of each other.
Nai clutched at his own thigh, his pale brows drawn in. "I - do."
The pause spoke volumes. Vash grimaced and pinched Nai's earlobe, the needle held between his middle and ring finger.
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I say this with love in my heart for trimax Vash. Love that he's a wimp about pain. Love that he's screaming crying throwing up about having to fight. Love that he just kinda wants to work in a coffee shop and chill. I too long for such domestic simplicity.
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"Ow," Nai muttered. There were tears in his eyes when he opened them, but he blinked them back as Vash reached over his shoulder for the earring laid out on a tissue on the sink. Swapping the needle through Nai's ear for the tiny gold loop was a moment's work.
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Knives having NOTHING on his box set cover other than his blades and the piano is so. I'm gonna wibble. Man lives an utterly empty life with nothing to sustain him but the promise of paradise,
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"but he's a socially incompetent asshole" hey, remember who bought twitter?
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actually logging back in for one thought, I wanna write no crash AU Knives whump/lowkey swap so bad tbh. sweet, anxious, hopeful boy taken advantage of while his brother watches and seethes.
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hey Vash switch places with her? you wanna be in a bulb instead? you wanna be pushed to deadly overload thru no fault of your own after years upon years of uncomplaining service to human beings? huh? you asshole? dickhead? also she's OLDER THAN YOU
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He pinched the flesh he held, hard. Nai tensed, drew in a sharp breath - and Vash punched the needle through his earlobe, just below his thumbnail.
"Ah!" Nai hitched against him, but it was already done.
"Okay," Vash said. "How bad was that? Crybaby."
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Legato and Knives are just. Knives is sooooo unbelievably tolerant of Legato - he lets him get away with shit he'd never tolerate from anyone else.
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With a nudge of his knee, he parted Nai's legs and stepped close to stand straddling his thigh. Bending low, he scooped his brother's face into his hands, careful of the needle he held, and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
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if Knives' reaction to the danger humans present was to fight, Vash's was to fawn; to assimilate. he's just like you! just some guy! but how terrible is that? for his fantasy to be to ignore who and what he was in order to secure some measure of safety?
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And then they matched again. Vash dabbed away the blood beading up around the hoop and patted his cheek. A tiny wound like this would heal within minutes. "All done. How's it look?"
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I see you lovingly, caringly destructive/repressive/manipulative swap AU Vash (hot) but also. cheerful and extremely fucking pissed-off Vash on a murder/suicide mission but he's out to murder everyone and then kill himself.
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btw if I ever say "I don't like [thing]" pls don't take it as "so no one else should, either," please enjoy [thing] - I am picky and a bit of a bitch, unfortunately, so there are many things I simply do not enjoy
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Nai's metal, shaped to a fine, hollow point. "So quit pulling away. It's only gonna hurt for a second."
"I know that," Nai hissed through his teeth.
"So stop being a baby about it!" Vash tugged his earlobe. Pale, perfect, untouched skin. "Here. Look - "
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I think it's fascinating that Chronica is willing to do the same thing Knives was (kill everyone on NML) and is a blatant military shill actually. I think she's a great example of how fucked up Earth is whether or not Nightow intended her as such.
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do you ever think about how the one and only human in Knives' life growing up did nothing but model fear of other humans for him
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His skin was damp against his lips. Nai's arms draped loosely around his hips as he straightened up.
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"Close your eyes," he said. Nai obliged. So trusting; Vash turned his face to the side and tipped his chin up, took his ear back between thumb and forefinger, needle held ready in his other hand. "Alright," he said. "I'm doing it."
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to throw everyone like him under the bus to maintain a status quo in which he, privileged enough to have independence, has something like a decent life? "they were so kind" - about people living off his sisters' backs. a burden less onerous in a kinder world, but still present.
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@billionsswords
love the inversion there of non-swap Vash repulsed by Knives' violence / swap Knives entranced by Vash's tenderness, it's so. clenches fist!!
1
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see no reason this couldn't be a Rem & Tesla live AU tbh. they come over to see him (Rem's bday or something) and he's trying to explain himself AGAIN
R: Don't use your cult leader voice on me, young man!
N: (sputtering) it was NOT a cult -
T & V: it was a cult
1
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for Vash to be able to live openly as a plant - the one thing Vash seems unwilling to do, something he's openly, viscerally uncomfortable with, his own inhumanity.
anyway. Vash needs so much therapy.
0
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I think this is smth which might have bothered me less if we see him working on behalf of independents at all, but no. his terrified, furious sister is a spoiled brat. he heals them and soothes them only so humans can keep using them exactly as they have been. (shakes him!)
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"huh I feel like I'm not as crazy about the twins as I was, maybe the fixation is passing" thinks about them for 0.0001 second and starts crying
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