East Village Guy
@eastvillageguy
Followers
10,143
Following
1,554
Media
469
Statuses
2,491
Jaded FinTech PM | White shoes, ABC pants, and a mint puff bar | 6 feet tall (pre-haircut) | Interests include birth control and gut health
NYC
Joined September 2023
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Game 1
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JUNGKOOK IS COMING
• 305869 Tweets
NEVER LET GO IS COMING
• 294905 Tweets
Celtics
• 247647 Tweets
NEVER LET GO BY JUNGKOOK
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ENGLOT LoveBully EP1
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#วันนี้3ทุ่ม15มีรักให้ร้าย
• 153323 Tweets
VIRGINIA AL 9009
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Mavs
• 124241 Tweets
Dallas
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sabrina
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Kyrie
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#NBAFinals
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Porzingis
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Tatum
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LINGORM FANMEET TICKET
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barry
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Miranda
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Alabama
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Dr. Phil
• 33550 Tweets
Jaylen Brown
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ナイトワンダラー
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Oklahoma
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#スターレイル予告番組
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Lively
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#DifferentHere
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Pinned Tweet
Hey man, what’d you get into this weekend?
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“Mom, why is that man barking at his phone?”
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Men only want one thing
Normalise sitting outside the café all day and not really doing anything
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“Who wants to spend $80 at the bar and talk to 0 women?”
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If I die, all my boys have permission to say “on my dead homie” before blatantly lying
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5’8 dude just said “I’ll be there shortly” bro I know lol
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Down bad in the trenches this week. Had to remind myself what I’m fighting for
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This may be the biggest white boy summer in recorded history
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If I were long $NVDA I wouldn’t tell anyone but there would be signs
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When the edible hits while you’re still going through TSA
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I would’ve pretended to be a waiter just to get a quick sniff
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Walked outta the bar, threw up, walked back in, ordered a tequila soda
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The longer I work in corporate America, the more I appreciate how hard Warren Buffet absolutely COOKED when he said this:
“I try to invest in businesses that are so wonderful that an idiot can run them. Because sooner or later, one will.”
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Raise em
@federalreserve
2pm on a Tuesday in Austin
Work from home culture here is STRONG ☀️
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One of my boys is literally banned from hinge
Think about that. Imagine how many girls had to report him for that to happen
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Just heard someone on my floor say “0.43%” instead of 43 bps
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Everyone in NYC, without fail, is always looking for at least one or more of the following:
1. Job change
2. Relationship
3. New apartment
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*clears throat*
¡Hola!
Breaking News: Mayor Adams plan is to give Illegal's $10,000 each with No ID check required, No Fraud control and No Restrictions.
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✅ sun is out
✅ boss is OOO
✅ “let’s circle up next week” just landed
Countdown to the long weekend is in full swing
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Am I interested in this middle market associate role in Cleveland?
Idk, hot recruiter, are you interested in a drink on Thursday?
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The best thing about Shogun is that the drip is absolutely bananas
Imagine if your MD showed up like this and told an intern to commit seppuku
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Just noticed that another man Venmo’d her $50 on Sunday morning
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“I only drink oat milk”
She said, taking a long drag of her watermelon vape
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Fixed it
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If you’re older than 23 and still use Snapchat you’re a deeply unserious person
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It’s called COQODAQ and it’s unreal
Seed oil-free fried chicken, killer sides, reasonably priced. 10/10 would recommend
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What is it about becoming a decabillionaire that turns white guys into Dominicans
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6 INCHES AND ABOVE IS UNHEALTHY TO TAKE IN !!
6 INCHES AND ABOVE IS UNHEALTHY TO TAKE IN !!
6 INCHES AND ABOVE IS UNHEALTHY TO TAKE IN !!
6 INCHES AND ABOVE IS UNHEALTHY TO TAKE IN !!
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NYU graduation must be today because I’ve never seen this much blue hair on the subway
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Men used to go to war
Now they take legal meth to be really good at Excel
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Miss me with that Venmo
Big just get me back sometime guy
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Hot take but I’m in full support of Google here
Big tech has turned into an adult daycare system, and this serves as a great reminder that if you want a mid-6 figure salary you need to act accordingly.
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Historians believe this was the first instance of what we now call a “White boyfriend / Asian girlfriend” combo
Their descendants number in the thousands, living primarily in the Bay Area, where they host podcasts and drink Soylent
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Congratulating my absolute boy and roommate of 3 years on moving in with his girlfriend (she’s wonderful)
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Bro tweeted a meme and added ~$1.8 billion of market cap to a distressed business overnight
This is Elon-level influence.
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Long Dua Lipa / short Sydney Sweeney
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Times Square is the physical representation of a Spirit Airlines flight to Miami
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To everyone in their 20s not living in a tier 1 city:
1.) Why
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“Yo Kendrick just dropped again”
Brother, have you showered today?
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Guy next to me is pumping out 110 dumbbells on incline bench like it’s nothing
Idk what she did to you bro, but I kinda want her to do it to me too
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Anyone have a good alternative to the All-In pod?
Listening to Jason and Sacks try to figure out who knows less about politics has become insufferable
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If you’re ever hungover, just watch this video 5 times in a row
Boom, all better.
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Shogun is great, but my biggest critique is they’ve failed to convince me that it’s this guy’s first time seeing Asian women
Think about it. Dude shows up in Japan, having NEVER seen an Asian woman before, and wants to leave?
Guy like me would never.
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“Yea boss I just think fucking off to Rome for a week, on the company’s dime, will improve my leadership skills”
I'm traveling to Rome because the solutions to the problems facing our city, country and planet must be solved together — by sharing ideas and strategies.
We will be talking infrastructure, climate change, the asylum seeker crisis and so much more.
Through hard work and…
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Why yes, hot sales girl, I’d love to do whatever you just said. Where do I sign?
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Me sending out “vF3_21_final” while $GME is up +200% this week alone
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Gm chat, another week in the trenches. Let’s get it
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The quickest way to spend $80 in NYC is to walk outside and breathe air
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Buying two drinks and asking about her job won’t fix you brother
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Caught checking out at a girl in the gym without realizing that she had a tripod setup
TikTok face reveal inbound
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The train back to CT on a Saturday morning is a wildly overlooked talent pool
The Celtics bench isn’t this deep fr
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The last thing your grandma sees before being sold a variable life insurance policy with no upfront cash value and massive premiums
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Tried this logic with sports betting and pushed my retirement out by at least 5 years
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Condoms are for people that order their steak well done
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Before we get started I’d like to say 2 things:
1.) I’m a grower
2.) It’s not warm in here
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Smith machine bench? Really? A man of your talents?
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At a certain point its easier to make more than to spend less
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Me after 7 light beers
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POV you posted about jew tunnels causing earthquakes in NYC and gained 1,000 new followers in a day
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Get this man to the Middle East ASAP
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Cause of death: checking out girls while Citi biking home on Park Ave
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SF review
Pros:
- Asian chicks with purple hair
- bomb Mexican food
- weather and beach access
Cons:
- need a car
- mid nightlife
- traffic
- way too quiet
Overall I was stoked to get back to NYC and have lots to think about before potentially moving
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Citi biking during sundress season will be the death of me
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“How are all these people at the gym before 4pm on a Friday?”
Me, also at the gym
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At the gym looking for the 50 pound dumbells and noticed a guy curling them…
Brother, keep em. Take the keys as well
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If a Latina can’t fix me then I don’t want to be saved
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Which way, western man?
Went for a walk in the west village today. Can’t believe people pay to live like this.
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Everyday I see girls hotter than Sydney Sweeney on the subway
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One of them kept asking if I wanted to “get outta here”
And go where??? My boys are here!
Can’t believe women showed up at the pre-game. Was trying to ball with my bros
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Hi Sharks,
I’m asking for $10m to re-open the New York Stock Exhange with only Latina brokers
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You’re in her dms
I’m in her model trying to figure out wtf she did to
#REF
it out so badly
It’s a war zone in here, All Quiet on the Western Sheets
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Remember, you joined this company for two reasons: to learn and to earn
Both are great, one is fine. In the absence of both, it’s time to go.
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Fun fact: all of the most beautiful women on Earth originate in NYC
They make them in a basement lab at the Hudson Yards Equinox
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