Brian Bilston
@brian_bilston
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Ceci n'est pas un poème. Represented by @jounwin
I live locally.
Joined August 2013
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And here’s an update for all 2024 events …
For my shows with the fab
@HenryNormalpoet
, tickets for these ones are selling like hotcakes: BURY ST EDMONDS, EXETER, LEEDS, LONDON, SALFORD and STROUD so you might need to be quick if you fancy coming along.
(1/5)
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Today’s poem is called ‘How Much I Dislike the Daily Mail’.
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Here is a new poem entitled "Refugees". Please bear with it.
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Here’s a poem called ‘An Incomplete List of Things More Capable of Running the Country than the new Prime Minister’.
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LOVE POEM
Duvet,
you are so groovet,
I'd like to stay under you
all of Tuesdet.
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LOVE POEM
Duvet,
you are so groovet,
I’d like to stay under you
all of Tuesdet.
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Here's a new poem called "At the Intersection", which I have written in the form of a venn diagram.
http://t.co/3fivkycE4b
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Here’s a poem called ‘Dominic Cummings: The Lockdown Tour’.
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It’s my birthday today. It’s never been quite the same since I found out about who I have share it with. Here’s a poem about that.
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DONALD TRUMPTON
Skew,
Spew,
Barmy Hairdo,
Cut-throat,
Bigot,
and Smug.
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It seems timely to re-circulate this poem about refugees. Please bear with it.
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Here’s a new poem constructed entirely from auto-completed searches on Google.
It’s called ‘Love in the Age of Google’.
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Today’s poem is a reworked version of Rudyard Kipling’s ‘If’.
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I have written out my To Do list today in the form of a poem. It’s called ‘To Do List’.
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Today’s poem was written in a week when I found myself trapped in an Excel spreadsheet. It’s called ‘Cell’.
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Here is a new poem entitled "From the Encyclopedia of Alternative Facts".
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Mnemonic
Thirty days has September,
April, June and November.
Unless a leap year is its fate,
February has twenty-eight.
All the rest have three days more,
excepting January,
which has six thousand,
one hundred and eighty-four.
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GATHERINGS
All gatherings
of six or more
shall now be
against the law
with NO exceptions
to these rules
(apart, that is,
from work and schools)
We need to act NOW
or the future’s bleak.
This comes into effect
some time next week.
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Here’s a short poem called ‘The Problem of Writing Poems on a Wild, Stormy Day’.
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Here's a poem about the problems caused when a mathematical concept takes over a poem.
http://t.co/sd1nalbtUj
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Today’s poem is called ‘why are you still here, please go away’.
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Today’s poem is called ‘An Incomplete List of Things More Capable of Running the Country than the Current Government (reprise)’.
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Here’s a little rhyme to help you remember how many days there are in each month.
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ON TODAY’S WORDLE SOLUTION
Americans,
I have news to report.
I have done the "math"
And you're one letter short.
That extra letter
Gives it colour and flavour.
Yours, with candour,
An affectionate neighbour.
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Today’s poem is for anyone opening the first window of their advent calendar this morning.
It’s called ‘The Good Old Days’.
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Here is a poem entitled ‘Index of First Lines’, which is comprised entirely of the first lines of poems which I shall never write.
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POEM
when the sky
turns sepia
it makes the world
feel crepia
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Last Christmas, your mum came to ours
and the very next day, we saw uncle Ray.
This year, we’re in the third tier,
so we’re not doing anything special (special).
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Here’s a new poem entitled ‘Why I No Longer Write Love Letters’.
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Today’s poem is called ‘How to Avoid Mixing Your Metaphors’.
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I
wrote
a poem
in a tweet
but then each line grew
to the word sum of the previous two
until I began to worry about all these words coming with such frequency
because as you can see, it can be easy to run out of space when a poem gets all Fibonacci sequency
#280characters
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Today’s poem is about going on a first date with someone and discovering, to your delight, that you have so much in common. It’s called ‘First Date’.
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Here’s the poem which was read on
@TheNewsAgents
podcast yesterday. It’s called ‘Refugees’.
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Here’s a reworked version of Kipling’s famous poem. It’s called ‘If (Boris Johnson Party Remix).
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PRESS CONFERENCE
searching
inside his cranium
trying to find
a brain to rack,
he found the word
"uranium"
and launched
an unclear attack
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GCSE students are sitting their English Literature paper this week, in which they have to analyse an ‘unseen’ poem.
Here’s a poem about the horror of it all. It’s called ‘Unseen Poem’.
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Good luck to all the students sitting their English paper today, and having to contend with the unseen poem.
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DUVET
Duvet,
you are so groovet,
I'd like to stay under you
all of Tuesdet.
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A SHORT POEM CONCERNING CHRIS REA’S PROXIMITY TO HOME AS HE DRIVES BACK FOR CHRISTMAS
Chris Rea
is nea
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Today’s poem is called ‘How Much I Dislike the Daily Mail’.
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Here’s a poem called ‘Hold my hand while we jump off this cliff’.
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SNOW POEM
words fell
from the
sky
today
i stood
and
watched them
snowin’
and as they settled on the ground,
they turned into this poem.
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I’m beginning to have doubts that this month is ever going to end.
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Today’s poem is in celebration of
#WorldOtterDay
.
It’s called ‘What Don Corleone Did Next’.
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THE PROBLEM OF WRITING POEMS IN HOT WEATHER
The problem
of writingpoems
inhot weather
isthatthe words
getsweaty
and sticktogether.
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Today’s poem illustrates the danger of structuring poems based upon mathematical sequences.
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Here’s a poem documenting my year to date, in haiku form.
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SNOW POEM
words
fell
from the
sky
today
i stood
and
watched
them
snowin’
and as they settled on the ground,
they turned into this poem.
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I seem to have spent most of this week trapped in an Excel spreadsheet. So here's a poem about that.
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It’s not easy to get down to work these days, particularly with everything that’s going on in the world and you’re trying to work from home.
The best approach is to create a To Do List of small tasks which are achievable and realistic, such as the one which forms today’s poem.
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Here’s a poem in the shape of a Christmas tree. It’s called ‘Needles’.
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Today’s poem is about the weirdness of the English language. It’s called ‘Neither Rhyme Nor Reason’.
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VIEW FROM A BILLIONAIRE’S SPACESHIP WINDOW
there,
amongst the stars
which held him
in thrall,
the most
incredible sight
of them all:
the planet Earth,
as it turned
on its axis,
and all
those people
paying taxes
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There once was a poet on Twitter
who grew increasingly bitter.
He couldn't surmount
the strict character count
and so his poems got even shi
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Here’s a new poem entitled ‘Hold my hand while we jump off this cliff’.
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Today’s poem is dedicated to all the students taking their GCSEs this year and having to contend with the horror of the ‘unseen poem’ in their English exam.
It’s called ‘Unseen Poem’.
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Here’s a new poem about going on a first date with someone and discovering, to your delight, that you have so much in common.
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Here’s a poem about the things I haven’t achieved this year.
It’s called ‘This was the year that was not the year’.
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Here’s a poem called ‘This was the year that was not the year’.
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Here’s a poem called ‘Billionaire in a Midlife Crisis’.
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In celebration of John Venn's 187th birthday today, here's a poem in the form of a Venn diagram.
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Dear
@realDonaldTrump
, I have heard you are having a difficult day so I’ve written you a poem to cheer you up. It’s called ‘On Hearing the News that You’re a Great Big Loser’.
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TRIGGER HAPPY
And they cried,
it’s not the guns
that kill people,
it’s the people,
as the bodies
piled up,
through each
shameful sequel.
And each defender
of the gun laws,
with the death count
getting bigger,
may as well
have had
their own finger
on the trigger.
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Today’s poem is about the bringing back of imperial measurements; or at least it would be, if they had ever gone away in the first place.
It’s called ‘The Empire’s Old Clothes’.
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Another few days and my poem is going to be indecipherable.
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Here’s a poem about some of the many things I didn’t achieve this year.
It’s called ‘This was the year that was not the year’.
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Here’s a poem about seeing all the social events on your calendar which have now been cancelled due to COVID-19 restrictions.
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Today’s poem is called ‘Ceci n'est pas un poème’ and it is not a poem.
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I'll be spending most of today on an aeroplane. I've been offered a complimentary Daily Mail. Here's my response.
http://t.co/1FpZD7WlPQ
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