Black Ashley
@ashleysimpo
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Says the quiet part loud. writer/editor. Formerly: Okayplayer, CRWNMAG | 🍉
Brooklyn, NY
Joined October 2014
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Pinned Tweet
Please take your rest as seriously as your hustle.
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This is it. My absolute favorite form of support explained.
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They’re fixated on being perceived as a good person.
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The question isn’t do you want to have a baby. The question is do you want to raise a person.
That baby part lasts exactly one year.
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My son (loudly) in the background when I took a call tonight after 7 pm:
“Do these people know you have a child?”
And that’s why he gets to live here for free.
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I think a lot about how many kids get called “bad” because they’re intelligent enough not to conform or comply to things that don’t make sense to them.
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I'm trying to understand the government's obsession with creating all these underprepared single moms.
Congress’s New Bill Could Take Away Your Access To Plan B And Other Emergency Contraceptives:
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The idea that marriage saves women from single motherhood has gotta be the longest running scam in history.
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I think sometimes we use the word “busy” when we should be using the word “overwhelmed.”
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I’m not the friend you have to apologize to for texting back late.
I wasn’t waiting. Not even to be cold.
I just expect people to show up when they are fully able and not a moment sooner.
You should definitely expect that from me.
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If COVID has taught me anything, it’s that community matters more than government.
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A visitor spotting this instead of a maintenance crew is exactly why I’ve put these rides behind me.
We had our time.
A visitor at a North Carolina amusement park spotted a large crack on a roller coaster's pillar on Friday. The ride, which was billed as one of the tallest of its kind, has now been closed as crews make repairs.
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I just want to thank Meghan Markle for saying she's not OK instead of some fluffy PR response. The idea that women can do it all, mothers are superheroes and parenthood is obvious are hurtful, ignorant and damaging to women.
We're not OK. Millennial parenthood is fucking hard.
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I wonder what would happen if these ideas became neighborhood and community efforts instead of overpriced memberships that gate keep collective care.
The first person who can figure out how to build a
1) daycare
2) remote co-working space
3) coffee shop
into a single building with a subscription... will become a billionaire in 2024.
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I have a deep appreciation for every Black woman that ever taught me to ask for more.
And to ask for it loudly.
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So idk what this show is but this woman took in her sister’s 7 children on top of her own 4 when she was arrested to save them from foster care.
That’s a human with an enormous heart and she deserves a partner who understands the assignment.
She told him she has 4 kids. But she really has 11. Would you stay?
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It's my first cover story, y'all. And it's Tracee.
I'm emotional.
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Stop calling assertive Black women “aggressive.”
Take accountability for your fragility instead of expecting our silence.
I’m tired.
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don’t guilt people for not checking in on every friend who may or may not be depressed. be a friend, be the best one you can be. suicide is not simple, it can’t be broken down in a tweet or solved by a lunch date.
just be a friend to others and be a friend to yourself.
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Let's be clear about something:
Black women have HAD to survive a lot.
We are not BUILT to survive a lot.
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Successful marriages can end in divorce. It��s ok to say, “this isn’t working” and part ways in tact.
We have to detach from the idea that staying together is the only relationship outcome that matters.
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Be careful who you take advice from. Not everyone can remove their own trauma from a conversation.
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Started a new remote job today. My people showed out. 💛
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I am no longer dating. Dating feels archaic and systematic and exhausting.
I’m simply seeking pleasure, accepting it when and how it shows up and releasing my attachment to the outcome.
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First of all, doing nothing is incredibly productive.
It produces peace.
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Deciding when to meet people where they are, and when to leave them where they are is a life skill that I feel defines healthy adulthood.
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@Phil_Lewis_
Anyone who has survived dv knows what this is.
You become addicted to your abuser and feel responsible for their choices.
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Two things can be true.
I can love you and also want nothing to do with your chaos.
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When I say, “I’m available next week” - I mean as of NOW, I’m available next week.
If instead of confirming a day and time, you wait until next week to see if I’m around, I won’t be.
Am I over-adulting or is that a pretty normal standard?
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Fair warning, following your dreams, has an awkward phase.
Push through it.
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They really tried to tell young girls that being a ride-or-die is the epitome of Black love.
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Any institution celebrating its "First Black" anything in the 21st century should not measure our worth or guide our aspirations.
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Did you really make it, if you arrived there in pieces?
You’re wholeness matters.
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I watched my mom change her entire life outlook at the age of 60. She went to therapy, healed lifelong wounds, sold her house, and moved out of the only state she’s known to create the life she wants.
No one in this world inspires me more than my own mother.
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I think social media is training our minds to accept a short list of acceptable narratives when in reality we each carry our own individual narratives as specific as a fingerprint.
You. Have. Never. Met. Me. Before.
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Whatever falls apart because you start loving yourself more needs to go anyway, love.
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I want to say this specifically to Black women creatives:
Stop hiding.
Stop saying "we" when it's really you.
Stop leaving off your last name.
Stop thinking what you do is not enough.
If there are things you aspire to create, create them.
Be loud about it.
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Btw for anyone worried about losing track of Black writers on Twitter when the algorithm goes to hell, here is a list of some I’ve kept and added to over the years.
Comment if you’re not on it and want to be.
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I love how writing forces you to love something fiercely and then let it go. A spiritual practice, if you will.
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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare." — Audre Lorde
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Today was my last day at my full-time job. I resigned to focus on my mental health, my family and my creative ambitions for a while.
It’s a big scary decision, and I’m thrilled to be able to make it.
Onward. 🌱
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Today my cousin told me, “Don’t give serious time to casual people.”
And I can’t stop thinking about it.
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I'm writing an article about the value and importance of the 'rich auntie' in Black families.
I would love to know how your aunt (rich or not) impacted your life growing up OR, as a parent, how a dope auntie is showing up for your kids.
Drop your thoughts in the comments.
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Money can absolutely buy happiness (and wellness and healthcare and safety).
Anyone who says different has probably never had to go without it.
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Let people who love themselves love you. You’ll never look back.
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Idk who needs to hear this, but wanting to be loved and being ready for a relationship ain’t the same thing.
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@shefontaylor
That part. Can you detach from the idea that your child is a ‘mini me’ - another fun one for the post-baby experience.
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Cool. Where’s the machine that reduces their wages and leaves the bulk of domestic responsibilities and child-rearing at their feet?
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My son’s Black history homework just told me I’m doing an incredible job.
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Me waiting until I have three minutes before the call starts to pee, get water, find my charger and look for the zoom link.
I’ll stop when this approach fails.
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You did the best you could with what you had at the time.
I don’t think we grow from our choices when we shroud them in guilt or shame.
Love the version of you that did their best. Grow from that place of self-love and acceptance.
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She did this multiple times. This could have been a deserving Black journalist interviewing Issa. Instead they chose an exec with no clue who this legendary queen is or who the audience was.
She deserved the roast imo.
when i tell you we were not having it with the mispronunciation if issa rae’s name 👏🏾
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@JessicaValenti
@LEBassett
I used to age myself down on purpose when men tried to talk to me. Once I said I was ten and he replied, “well you look old enough.”
Best thing to do is keep headphones in and pretend you can’t hear. Anything else potentially invites more danger. I hate this for all of us.
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Please consider offboarding any friends you don’t feel comfortable sharing good news with.
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I do not need Black women to be nice. I need Black women to be free. I do not need Black women to be nice. I need Black women to be free. I do not need Black women to be nice. I need Black women to be free. I do not need Black women to be nice. I need Black women to be free.
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Some of us fight racism by raising our Black children to know joy.
This matters too.
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*clears throat*
I prefer to say “congrats” when people divorce.
Plenty of people who divorce are ending cycles of abuse, and that’s nothing to be “sorry” about.
Normalize ending relationships when they need to end. And divorce gift registry.
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Accept folks as they are. Modify your participation accordingly.
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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you did your best today.
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Idk how else to say this but I would like straight men to stop signing up to be grocery store shoppers on Instacart.
Apologies if that offends anyone. I must live in my truth.
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“My legacy is that I stayed on course from the beginning to the end because I believed in something inside of me.”
Rest in peace Ms. Turner 🕊️
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I’m learning that one sure way Black women can take up more space in the world is by resting.
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Sending love to everyone existing at the intersection of ambition and parenthood.
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One quick thing.
“Single mother” is not synonymous with “struggle”.
K, bye.
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Everyone present that day should sue for emotional distress.
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Yea so when are we going to actually talk about the incredible ignorance that goes into categorizing a $2300+ studio as “affordable” in a city where the medium income is $60k?
Affordable Housing Lottery Opens for 108 Units in Greenpoint, Starting at $2,370 a Month
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@vikkie
That part.
And also marriage ends for lots of reasons - infedelity, death, incarceration, changed life goals, evolving sexually, severe illness/injury…
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I can sense when someone is giving me love they haven’t given to themselves first.
It feels differently. Like it missed a step.
I need me a well-seasoned, well-digested love. The kind that has stewed a bit and fed you first.
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