Lauraaaaaaaaa
@_itneverrains_
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Pinned Tweet
Pray without ceasing. Do not lose faith, better days are coming
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My boyfriend and I haven’t talked for 9 days 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I’m in pain guys😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I don’t even know what to think😂😂😂
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I don't understand why people study Accounting. Just subtract iMali yeStock and the rest is profit. Don't complicate things
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A broke boyfriend is always surprised, “wow wakarukwa”.
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My F1 ex sent me a letter I gave him when we were young
#tbt
. I blocked him, it’s not funny.
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Hello twitter, we’re looking for this man please help us locate him. He bought a gadget, paid in cash $700 fake notes and got away with $70 change. This man called and came just like any other customer so his name isn’t known and his number isn’t working anymore, please retweet.
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A conversation about how you feel isn’t supposed to end up in an argument
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Your parents didn’t raise you to beg people to love you back
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Asked the guard at Trade center why they don’t have a parcel counter like other shops cause I was struggling with a bag and he politely said, “pano panowanzouya vanhu vane mota dzavo”. This is the day I’ll never forget 🙂
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Men are funny because wth is “ugouya wakapfeka skirt”🤣
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Parents be telling last borns kuti ukaita number 15 ndokuendesa kuDubai for holiday. Man all I got for being position 2 was polony😭
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I’m not ashamed of my exes but there are these two I’ll deny until everyone believes me.
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We’re no longer going for looks. We’re going for maturity, stability, peace and loyalty.
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Hanzi, The problem is you love me too much and the relationship will not work. Guys people can be horrible imi 😂😂😂
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I really need to find a nice way of telling my WhatsApp contacts not to send me memes and jokes cause ndendakamaona patwitter last week
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I’ve never heard kuti the bride aenda kutoilet. Zvofambasei pamuchato? 💀
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Pedestrian boyfriends are so sweet man, they’ll be like
“dakukuperekedza kusvika wanyatsogara mukombi”
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My lecturer explaining the Accounting conceptual framework to me.
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How are you guys making it out of the talking stage? I’m tired of telling 10 guys how my day went every single day.
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Rusape is so small. Ukabirwa mutown after 5 minutes unosangana nembavha yako.
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After getting my driver’s license
Receptionist: Can I see your national ID
Me: I left it, can I give you my license instead?
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Show me a light skinned man who doesn’t cheat and I’ll show you a long sleeved bra
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Mothers don’t even apologize. They just say mazowe asara ndeako
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I feel like posting the man behind my smile but he might be the same man behind your smile and I don’t want your smile to vanish.
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When you’re treated right you won’t miss any of your exes, not even one of them!
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I finally had a conversation with the guy that likes me and I asked him when he was born and he said two thousand aaaand. And?And? Haibo ofc there’s no future.
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Y’all going to marry your girlfriends with $2000? Okay, nice👍🏼
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A boyfriend who really loves you will apologize even if it’s your fault.
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Even if I’m broke to the extent of buying daily 20mb data, I’ll still view my boyfriend’s status
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Some of us are over 30 and unmarried, kutangirwa nemagetsi kuenda 😭😭😭
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I’ll always look both ways even in a one way road because I know my Zimbabwean drivers.
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People at work be like, “Wakutodya lunch yako?” Munongodyiwa wani nema boss basa risati ratombotanga asi hatibvunze
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They might follow you but they won’t like your tweets
~Mbuya Nehanda
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You can’t fool a woman who double checks with God about everything
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I asked my then boyfriend if I could take him out for lunch and he said he can’t go, all his socks are dirty 😭
That thread is so real😭😭😭
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Her: I’m on my period
Him: let’s see your phone I wanna talk to flo
Guys who’s schooling these boys😭
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Planting my flowers today. Don’t wanna bother no man in February.
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When it’s time for JP to perform Goto I leave because I know myself😭😭😭
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After buying my boyfriend a water bottle
Every time I see him: kochigubhu chandakakutengera chiripi? Asi hauchifarire?
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Sometimes it’s your friends that keep your enemies updated about you. Be careful
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If I post my son on WA, this woman posts hers. If I post in a new fit she posts in a new fit too so today I posted a picture of my son with his father cause she can’t do the same. Yah neh🙂
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The last time I cried in public my best friend came to me and said, you’re too tall to cry, what do you want all these short people to do if you cry. I never cried again.
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Him: you told me I was in your prayers
Her: yeah, the part I said deliver me from evil
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I want to buy this blue wig I saw but as a person who lives in Harare and uses Copacabbana and market square ranks let me just keep my money.
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Being single is nice until you’ve 13 people trying to see you in one weekend 🥴
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Waiva mwedzi wechirimo pawaindipa zvandaida
Dai ukawana mufaro, kwese kwauchaendaaaaa
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You ever lose your $9 then all of a sudden your neighbors buy a new car
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Avoid dating broke people especially if you’re not broke. They usually suffer from financial anxiety and it might be difficult for you to celebrate your little financial wins when your opportunity comes. They project sadness and insecurities the most.
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“Your mother is here, she was saying she left you at home cooking”
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At home my mother calls me twitter. twitter adya here, musapedzerewo twitter ice cream. My mental health please😭
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Do you remember when you used to write essays on dangers of abusing alcohol😂
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I want to go back to school because why was my father on my ear at 6am whispering “kohandei tino jogger”😭
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Y’all ever kissed two different guys on the same day?💀
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Being single and posting love quotes to confuse people is another level of fun
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Supporting Manchester City must be boring. No drama, no losing. Zvinodawo uchimboita tustress mbichana.
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When Drake said ida anokuda kuti mangwana usazochema I felt that😭
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My mother talking to my little sister: zvausingachakwane ipawo Laura
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Even funny people deserve to be hugged, they are broken most of the times
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👩🏼: Hi babe how are you?
🧑🏼: I’m good babe how are you?
👩🏼: I’m okay babe how are you
🧑🏼: I’m alright babe and you?
Ko ingorambanai ka 🤣
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Imagine him tweeting every hour but he last texted you three days ago.
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Don’t want to be in a relationship when I’m broke cause even if it’s from the bottom of my heart, I don’t want to be that hun that buys socks and boxers yearly on his birthday.
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It’s the other way for us. My boyfriend has to enjoy my attention before English Premier League starts😂
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Pain is when you’re in class, paying 100% attention and still be lost
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From praying for his success to praying for the Lord to deal with him
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We are already going through a lot with this hip hop thing umwe akudai 😭
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Imma get you pregnant is definitely the worst line you can use on a girl.
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You’re alive today because God has plans for you. Listen to him carefully.
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She who has found a boyfriend has gotten herself a photographer.
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Unenge uchinyatsoziya kuti ndiwe uchatanga kuburuka mukombi asi unonogara kuseri kwekombi why🙄
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Be hopeful but never expect everything to happen your way
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Being in a long distance relationship is nice but you know where the danger is? Do you know where the danger is???
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Hakuna machine yekungoisa musoro for five minutes musoro wobva warukika here??😭
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Revenge is a way of getting even. Forgiveness is a way of being ahead. The choice is yours.
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My friends don’t want to go with me anymore because I finish their so called dilution💀
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You’ve fought so hard to come this far. Celebrate everything you have and appreciate the smallest effort you’ve ever made
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The person I’m currently dating is the type that will run away at family gatherings when they say “vakwasha batidzai moto”😭😭😭
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People who say water has no taste have clearly never been to Harare
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Today was a bad day to be in town with a summer dress cause I don’t like what happened to me 😭
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Stopped in Masvingo so that we could get directions from anamhamha vemadomasi. Hanzi you turn left kana masvika pane vanhu vakutengesa mabura. We left and after a few minutes my father said I hope unoziya kuti mabura chii cause handimaziye. Tirikutsvaga mabura so that we turn😂😂
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6 people raising their hands and the lecturer decides to pick me? My hand is down because I do not know the answer pls😭
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Being the first woman to treat him right is the most stressful relationship cause dude thinks everything is fishy😂
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Leaking dms don’t scare me but there’s this one guy. If that one decides to leak them I’m in trouble.
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Imagine being a Telone user and your back up is Econet 😭
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Called this ama2k and I heard him say “mhamha nagogo mukuita noise ndiripa phone, kana kuti budai henyu muno”😦
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You disrespect yourself when you rekindle a relationship that once made you feel unwanted
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