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Pinned Tweet
In Ibiza for the season ambulances on standby ready to resuscitate youse ⛑️🚑🚀🕺tickets taxis anything’s
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Me looking through the glass at that battered sausage in the chippy
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Not a police officer dressed like he’s ready to invade Ukraine in sight, fans just left to have a drink in peace. Mad how other countries treat us
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Their should be heavy fines for any sausage that takes his top off
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Service station game seen as there’s no trains. Send everything in. Bonus points for random items.
If anyone can get a box of donuts, jump leads, the biggest teddy and a Jeremy Clarkson autobiography wins a stripe on Wembley way
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Who eats AirPods ye mad bastard
Me and my fiancé just bought our first home aged 21. This is what can happen when you stop eating iced coffees and AirPods. Put down the avocado toast and grind
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Paddy the Baddy must be doing well people are digging up old tweets from 5 years ago. Jealousy is a terrible thing
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Morning, Its cup final day we’re on our way to Wembley which means one thing, SERVICE STATION GAME!
Standards were set very high in the semi’s so everyone has got their work cut out this time around
No bonus points for any items just go fucking mad and melt the shelves!
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Beat Villarreal and Liverpool will play every single game possible this season 🤯
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‘Hi have you got these in a 4.5 please?’
‘Sorry we’ve only got size 17s left’
‘No problem I’ll take them!’
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God save our gracious queen, who pays underage girls off from pressing charges against her noncey son 🎶
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2 years for abducting a child while that nurse gets 3 years for bringing Charlie to creamfields 🤯
Ava Jones and Trevor Carr told the child to turn off their phone so it couldn't be tracked
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Rangers got liquidate 10 years ago and they’re in a europa league final and Everton are still crying about something 40 years ago
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‘Caused me severe pain!’ Sounds like me when I’m putting a claim in 🤣🤣🤣
🗣 "I've gone one v one with him and I've got the better of him and he's stood on me foot."
Anthony Gordon explains why he feels he should've had a penalty and that he didn't deserve a yellow card for his "dive"
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Full back Adolf Hitler portrait with Sponge bob shorts on. You’ve got to give it to him he’s got some plums
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Lallana to score a last minute winner tomorrow against city and he runs and slides on his knees in front of the fans ripping his T-shirt off revealing his full back tattoo of him and Henderson bumming each other
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Imagine waking up knowing that you’re the greatest footballer to ever live, winning everything at club level and dragging your country to a World Cup victory all without raping anyone. What a player
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A pitch invasion Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahaahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
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Bad Boy Chiller Crew are fucking sound aren’t they, just scruffy bastards who’ve smashed it
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Whoever decided to play allez allez allez before the game and dua Lipa after the game needs a new 100k a week contract
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I’d like to apologise to whoever’s KFC I robbed in the services last night, we was waiting for our scran for over 40 mins so I waited for the biggest bag to get put on the counter and just took it. The lads loved your bargain buckets sorry an thanks
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So that’s why Ronaldo never travelled
Chemical castration may be offered to sex offenders in Thailand in return for less prison time
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never forget
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I fucking hate wools. Just asked one in the bar queue to buy me a cider and go to pass her the money and she goes ‘no wait your turn!’ A scouser next to her goes ‘here you go lad’ and hands me a pint. Say what you want about scousers but we are the best people by far
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@SkySportsNews
They dominated for 20+ years, a few bad years they’re threatening to blow the centre half’s Ken up 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Its the moment we’ve all been waiting for the prestigious annual
#RTBshitchristmasprezzy
. Whose been to see their nan hoping for a card packed with Boxing Day Charlie funds and ended up with a shit prezzy instead? Send them in
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They’ve done Messi dirty there. He’s waited his whole life to win that trophy and they dressed him up like a £40 an hour brass
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Got x2 Hospitality tickets for the
#ucl
final in Paris looking to swap for a house in Woolton preferably with a swimming pool RT’s appreciated
#LFCFamily
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How on earth these became popular in Liverpool blows my mind hahahaha shame on anyone who fell into the trap
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DCL kicking Trent in the back of the head - penalty
DCL diving from minimal touch off Lovren - penalty
Van Dijk out for the season with injury - no pen
‘You dont get them at anfield’ tho they’ve got a cheek
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If you can’t find a stripe in Amsterdam go back the airport an go home
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Just let people be mangled in peace
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its time for the annual 'shit christmas prezzy' awards. we had some crackers last year from jerry cans to gravy boats can anyone top that this year?
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Could you be arsed fighting cos someone lives on the other side of an imaginary line about 10 miles away. Worst muppets about
England vs. Wales kicked off early in Tenerife last night 🤣
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Imagine going outside to make monkey noises to stop a monkey from sucking your mates pipe 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 what the fuck just chase it out the room with a mop pole
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I’d like to laugh at his reg plate but it’s stuck to a Lamborghini and my reg is stuck to a van
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Stay safe the people of Manchester, it looks like a rowdy one
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People thought his Anfield records was going today… never in doubt! Get back up that 62 you inbred wheelie bin sniffing meffs
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Worst signing in Liverpool football club history. I’ll never forgive him for taking that shot in the champions league final from 60 yards out with minutes to go
🥉| Liverpool have pulled the plug on contract talks with Naby Keita and he will leave for nothing in June. [
@footyinsider247
]
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That’s it the fun’s over. Congratulations Real Madrid
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Hi guys I’ve linked up with
@ItsBigZuu
to give away 4 tickets for the
#UCL
Final in Paris may 28th!
We want to give them to someone who hasn’t had the chance to go many games this season and preferably isn’t Scouse
All you have to do is follow like and rt this tweet
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Creams owners dont tweet every other day about how they care for the hospitality industry lad all you care about is linin ye own pockets
@BoSelecta_
We're the same price as Creamfields, that you've been raving about. Not sure if you are on the left, or right, but a few press ups wouldn't go amiss.
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‘Are you dressing like an absolute bacon today mate?
‘Yeah!’
‘Sound me too!’
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Haaland to city done. Rivalry aside I hope James Milner ends his career like Roy Keane did his da’s
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Advanced UAV crocs man hahahahahaha
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Listen if someone gets an air hockey machine to Wembley way I’ll give you my ticket for Paris
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New Cody Gakpo chant:
GAKPO GAKPO GAKPO!
To the tune of Chelsea Chelsea Chelsea
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Keep us updated chief
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Completed twitter hahaha twitter completed you ya sausage
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Pele dead, Tate been nicked for human trafficking just need fergie to snuff it now for me treble
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Make sure you iron that wrapping paper folks, the money you save you’ll be able to have the heating on for 24 seconds in December!
Fully take the piss these rats
‘recycle your wrapping paper whilst I claim about 150k in expenses per year!’
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You’ve got to laugh the way city turn to shite when we’re fucking shite. Losing leagues on 97 points and arsenal are gonna win it on about 80 it’s fucking sickening
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Goodbye everyone I’ve had enough I’m going to jump off the Runcorn bridge unless I can get a free crate of
@supeme_cbd
and a message off rickie lambert
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Some club Everton yano I fucking love them putting the chief Exec in a headlock hahahahahahaahaha
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Never forget
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That time of the year when some fella buys 10000 pumpkins for about £300 and lashes them in a field and mongs pay £10 each for them
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50’000 fans clapping in the 7’ minute for Ronaldo was boss shame about them shit house cunts singing the sun was right
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Don’t understand why normal people argue that other normal people want to earn a bit more money when politicians get wage rises every year and no one cares. Idiots turning on each other 😂
The average salary for railway workers is £45,000.
Average salary for those serving in the Royal Navy is £36,444
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Fully take the piss these rats
‘recycle your wrapping paper whilst I claim about 150k in expenses per year!’
My top Christmas
#recycling
tips
Ironing old wrapping paper means you can re-use last year’s 🎁
More tips at
#GreenChristmas
@DefraGovUK
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Nothing better than a loud mouth getting a slap
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Plod running in corner shops and taking all the vapes off the shelves cos they’re illegal with too many puffs in 😂😂😂
People are getting shot dead all over the city and this is what Merseyside police are doing with their time hahaha
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