Paul Byrne was a lot of things to a lot of people. A talented comedy director and stand up fixer, he was loved by so many.
But to me, he was my pain-in-the-arse little brother and I will miss him so much.
RIP Paul Byrne 1977-2022
Thank you all for the lovely messages of condolence. Too many to respond to directly, they have been a big help.
Normal service will be resumed eventually and I’ll go back to boring you all with photographs of me holding beers as soon as I can.
My mother, my wife and my kids are all at the local carol service. My Dad and I are watching “Air crash Investigation”. Truly, this is what Christmas Eve is all about.
Congratulations 2022. Despite stiff competition from 2020 and 2021, you have managed to be the absolute worst year of my life. Can’t wait to put you in my rear view, you evil bastard.
Come on 2023! Let’s be pals.
Obviously, you should marry whoever you happen to fall in love with. I’m just saying, if you snag yourself a Derbyshire farmer’s daughter, your chances of enjoying a scenic New Year’s Eve increase dramatically.
Happy New Year from The Peak District.
In the car with the kids the other day. They start picking apart songs for not making sense.
“But there aren’t 8 days in a week”
“How can you have purple rain?”
I finally had to say, “They’re song lyrics. They’re not meant to be taken literally!”
Isn’t it Ironic
Here's a little thread about something I discovered about my Dad over the weekend.
I was back at my folks' house in Dublin and I noticed a photo on the wall that hadn't been there before. It was of my Dad in his 20s standing next to an odd metal structure.
For most people the period between Christmas and New Year can be weirdly uneventful but today I became the father of a teenager. Quite the “red letter” day.
Tonight I have my first professional engagement for four months. I’ve never gone this long without performing stand up since I started 27 years ago. I am positively giddy with excitement.
This is me absolutely geeking out with the original Arthur Dent and the actual dressing gown from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy TV show. I was in sci fi nerd heaven.
I really wish I had it in me to simply rejoice in a victory for Irish women, but I can’t help but delight in this being a defeat some of the most despicable people in Ireland. Fuck you, Mc Guirk, you lost!
I love meat.
I pride myself on my barbecue skills.
I think pork is particularly tasty.
I also think anyone complaining about the production of a vegan sausage roll is a total bellend.
I contain multitudes.
So, there hangs, in The Kennedy Centre in Washington, DC a chandelier, gifted to the US by the Irish government, and my Dad made it AND HE NEVER MENTIONED IT ONCE IN THE 47 YEARS I'VE KNOWN HIM.
If you still haven’t registered to vote I’m not sure a word from a mid level 40something comedian is the push you need, but here it is anyway.
@vfyf2019
PS I’m in the passenger seat. I’m not filming and driving.
I just called myself a moron and then apologised to myself when I realised I hadn’t made the mistake I thought I had made.
Apologised to myself.
Literally said, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have called you a moron” to myself.
The worst thing is it actually made me feel better.
The planner on our kitchen wall makes me feel like I’m being taunted from another dimension by a happier version of myself. He’s full of tales of skiing holidays, drinks with friends and lucrative stand-up gigs. I hate the smug prick.
HMRC, sensing I needed a laugh, have just sent me a tax bill from an alternate universe where my earnings for this year were the same as they were last year. Ha ha ha ha ha!
I’ve just spent 4 days hiking around the Scottish Highlands surrounded by incredible scenery. Summitted 8 munros, walked about 50 miles and climbed almost the equivalent of Everest.
I shouldn’t be this happy about the two lousy badges this has earned me on Garmin Connect.
Slinking around the kitchen in my pants singing, “I am a man in his pants” to the tune of Barbara Streisand’s “Woman in Love”, just in case you wanted to know exactly how lucky my wife is.
It’s come to my attention that a lot of the tickets for my tour say that latecomers won’t be admitted. This is absolute nonsense. If you are late, don’t worry. You can still come in.
I might take the piss, though.
I am currently in a cab on my way home from recording an episode of Mock The Week and I genuinely don’t know if one of the jokes I made was met with silence because
A) The audience didn’t know what the IMF had said
B) The audience didn’t know who EMF are
C) The joke was shit
More fallout from Apple's decision to stop selling its products in Russia
"Here's our response to American sanctions! We don't fear you! We'll live without your nice 'pretty' things!"
Why are you sad, Daddy?
Well son, you hear this woman on the radio singing about how she used to be young? Well, when Daddy was young, that woman’s Daddy was on the radio. So now Daddy feels very old indeed.
In other news. This is my first day of taking medication for ADHD. I scored 33 and 30 on
#popmaster
and got the 3 in 10. Hardly a scientific study, but this bodes well.
Just had to change the password on my Disney+ account. Thing is, I never would have known I’d been hacked if the guy hadn’t changed the language settings and set up a profile for his kid, Mathias. That was a bonehead move on his part.
My 8YO gave me a card with a No.1 Father of the Year rosette on it. I was standing next to my father-in-law at the time and couldn’t resist waving it in his face and saying, “There’s always next year”
It’s my birthday on Friday. I’m not going to say how old I am, but I’m thinking of treating myself to a mitre saw so that should give you a rough idea.
Really sorry for those close to Ken Dodd for their tragic loss.
Really happy for Ken Dodd, who got to live to be 90 and was still doing the job he loved right til the end.
In case you haven’t heard, that new film “Stan and Ollie”, really is very good indeed. Although, it might make you cry a tiny bit.
Not that it made me cry.
I’m just saying it might make YOU cry.
It didn’t make me cry at all.
*sniff*
Me: Check it out. According to my garmin watch my fitness age is 20. Maybe I should give Leonardo DiCaprio a call.
My wife: Go for it. Ask him if he knows anyone who can fix your broken garmin watch.
Hi everyone, I’m afraid I bear some sad news. Most of you will know Dave has been fighting cancer for the past couple of years. Last night, on 28th February 2024, with Lili, Dave’s wife, his family, close friend David and myself by his side, he passed away peacefully at home. All
Edinburgh! It’s been a blast. Easily the most emotional Fringe Festival I’ve experienced, but those emotions have been largely positive. Good luck to those crazy fools doing a show tonight.
When I was a very new comic (barely making a living) I was rendered suddenly and temporarily homeless (bad break up). Stewart Lee, a man I had only met a handful of times, let me crash in his spare room for two weeks.
In your particular field, who really helped you out when you were starting out? Like took you under their wind or did you a massive favour or was dead nice when you were unsure about yourself?
Just before the final joke of tonight’s show I’m distracted by a weird noise that could be a siren, could be a phone ringing. Turns out it’s a woman in the audience who has an alarm that reminds her to take her tablets.
Funniest moment of the show!
Always odd when you post something benign/banal about going for a jaunt up a mountain, then have wee scroll and realise how out of place that tweet is going to look amid the political commentary about the latest constitutional crisis.
For the past few days I’ve been doing some DIY/building projects around my home and the glacial speed with which I am progressing has really hammered home to me just how hopelessly unemployable I would be if it weren’t for comedy.