Melissa Stetten
@MelissaStetten
Followers
44,991
Following
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Statuses
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writer. retired model. mostly tweet about the Clippers @PistolShrimpsBB 🏀
LA via Kalamazoo, MI
Joined December 2008
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D-Day
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Normandy
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Bannon
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Pakistan
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Macron
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England
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#PakvsUSA
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Cricket
• 144333 Tweets
Nazis
• 138915 Tweets
WWII
• 119183 Tweets
Jill
• 109266 Tweets
$GME
• 104959 Tweets
Celtics
• 101638 Tweets
Ghana
• 91772 Tweets
#T20WorldCup
• 83994 Tweets
Super Over
• 65195 Tweets
#loveIsland
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Mali
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Babar
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Grealish
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Roaring Kitty
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Amir
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Southgate
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#EuroDebateRTVE
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Dr Pepper
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Irene Montero
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Pepsi
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対象作品
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Samantha
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PvdA
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Universidad Nacional
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Numanice
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Falcao
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Gromit
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“What you may not know about the man behind the viral posts” what like he’s a manipulative gaslighting narcissistic ex-boyfriend who once told me he was surprised I hadn’t killed myself because my life was so worthless?
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Good news! My screen time is down to an average of 23 hours and 15 minutes per day.
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This haunts me
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You can tell when rich people write movies about being poor, cuz there’s always a scene where a poor person’s credit card gets declined. When you’re poor, you know EXACTLY how much money is in your bank account. All poor people aren’t dumb idiots who can’t keep track of money.
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Melinda Gates & Pete Davidson will be photographed holding hands on Larchmont next week
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I’m way too concerned with how Khloe Kardashian is doing.
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I did a puzzle of the table I do puzzles on
Mental-health crisis from pandemic was minimal, study suggests
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It’s so stupid we’re all waiting to hear if a guy who murdered someone will be convicted of murder
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Remember when Norm was live tweeting the Oscars in 2011 and when the award for Best Visual Effects is given out Norm kept tweeting “thank the computer you idiot”
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The Kardashians are a HUGE reason people are insecure about their bodies. The least Khloe could do is leave up an untouched photo where she looks like a normal fucking human being
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Surprised his marriage didn’t work out since he was sending me DMs a month after his wife gave birth. (I tweeted a joke about pulling a muscle changing a tampon and he replied asking if I smelled bacon? Cool joke)
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The misogyny towards Amber Heard is so weird and vile
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My cat got sprayed with a skunk a few weeks ago and I had to give her a bath for the first time. It was traumatizing. The odor didn’t go away, so I washed her with tomato juice and her fur turned pink.
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Getting lots of texts from girls still in therapy over his terror. At least we have this fun little club!
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RIP Larry King. The only person who was 87 their entire life.
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Congrats on a great career Tom Brady! Jk I don’t give a shit
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Look, I’m no sweetheart, I’ve done/said some dumb things dated problematic men, but to have so many women reach out with the SAME EXACT story confirms that what I dealt with wasn’t because of me. It’s a disturbing tactic he used to control and demean women.
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Weird how blood clots are a serious side effect with birth control pills but you don’t see women losing their shit over it
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Yelling I WAS CANCELLED while giving a speech on primetime TV 🤡
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I’ll never watch Jeopardy the same after finding out Alex Trebek controls the beep when no one knows the answer.
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Shit is so bleak ppl in LA aren’t even tweeting about the rain
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That 32 million you paid for sexual harassment settlements could’ve opened a nice school in Chicago...
If LeBron James wants to champion social justice as well as basketball, he should go to Chicago and help the poor people there who are experiencing unprecedented violence. Please check out my commentary on .
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If she didn’t know Pete was gay, imagine the Trump voters who don’t know he’s a complete moron.
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Men think they’re funnier than women because we have to laugh at their jokes so they don’t murder us
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Wait I thought this already happened on Jan 6th
A "Small Dong March" happened in LA to end the shame associated with having a small penis. 😳
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My new favorite player in the NBA is
#1
draft pick Anthony Edwards who brings his own food to Benihana.
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Yes there’s a playoff game happening currently but more importantly Steve Ballmer is talking to Tim Robinson
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This is dumb and the girls who are doing this suck. Sorry!
EXCLUSIVE: TikTok user who matched with Matthew Perry on Raya at age 19 speaks out
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Only being nice to famous people is the worst type of personality you can have
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Marianne Williamson? Well she died over 200 years ago...
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NPR just interviewed a guy who plays the clarinet with the sound of cicadas. It was the most NPR thing I’ve ever heard
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Looking back, we should’ve known all along based on the name
Jeffrey Epstein's 'Pedophile Island' is set to hit the market for $125M
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Covid patients often report feeling better early on in their diagnosis then take an abrupt turn for the worse about 7 to 10 days in. Just putting this info out there for no particular reason.
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I gotta go with Ram from RRR or Belmondo in Breathless
What's the sexiest a man has ever been in a movie? The dude version of Phoebe Cates in Fast Times, or Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, or Princess Leia or whatever
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Somehow my niece owns the most patient kitten in the world
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@MarianKourieh
He told A LOT of people I was a compulsive liar because he didn’t want them to believe all the shit I said about him
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In 2013 I went to see my friend do stand up and Dane was a surprise guest, so I tweeted something like “eww Dane Cook just showed up to my friends show” and he must’ve searched his name on twitter and found me in the audience and had me kicked out. His Botox looks great here
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Why can’t republicans ignore abortions like they do with school shootings
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The NBA is turning all their arenas into voting locations. Amazing.
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It was louder than the Eras tour when Caitlin Clark made this 3
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As a kid I thought people who had stairs in their house were rich
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Not only is the Cosby show still on TV but even more concerning is Bill’s sweater clearly predicting 9/11
#Cosbspiracy
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Rich people can afford to do literally any hobby why do they want to be president
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I deleted my tweets a while ago in this exchange but just found this one
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Yes Tim Ryan go off king
Tim Ryan goes off on GOP from the House floor and the world is better for it.
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Shout out to the men who didn’t vote for Hillary in 2016 cuz they didn’t like the sound of her voice
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Based on masks I would assume they’re voting Biden.
Massive line of voters in Fairfax, Virginia, on the FIRST DAY of in-person early voting. Some voters say they showed up because they lost faith in USPS to deliver ballots. Officials tell CNN they've never seen anything like this on Day One.
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Babysitting question: How often should I change my 6 year old niece’s bowl of water
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The vibes at the Clippers game are so bad even Kawhi is having an existential crisis
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People who crowd around the boarding area before their group is called are monsters.
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Watching Allen v. Farrow and remembering all the older nerdy guys I dated in my 20s who were obsessed with Woody Allen and insisted on watching Manhattan with me. Yikes!
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“He constantly makes you feel like he's the victim of something. That you should be apologizing to him for something you did, even though you didn't do anything wrong.” THE ACCURACY
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Yes, I just watched Hillbilly Elegy, and no, I don’t recommend it
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Can’t believe it’s the one year anniversary of learning about the moldy jam at Sqirl
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There is truly nothing more embarrassing than seeing your friend comment on a celebrity’s Instagram.
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If I die from a mass shooting please use my decapitated head to scare Mitch McConnell like Geena Davis did in Beetlejuice.
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Last night hundreds of ppl from our neighborhood searched for a missing boy and it turned out he was sleeping under a pile of clothes in his closet. Huge Balloon Boy vibes.
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When Hello Nasty came out in 1998 I wrote NASTY on a hello my name is name tag and wore it to school but no one got it so I felt stupid.
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This is Uber for mosquitos.
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This almost exact thing was said in a Vox review I didn’t read until now so we are def living in a simulation
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I think the batteries in my cat need to be replaced
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Armie Hammer’s grandfather Julian got away with murder in 1955. Cool family!
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outside of 9/11 what’s a major historical event you lived through that you’ll never forget where you were when it happened
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The first thing you do after going viral is go back and delete all your questionable tweets. I thought we all learned this by now.
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If you can’t tell the difference between a gun and a taser maybe you shouldn’t be a police officer just a thought
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Feels like we’re fighting two pandemics: COVID-19 and Instagram stories about making bread
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Your arm gets a little sore after the vaccine? Not worth it!
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Wow this Buzzfeed story seems pivotal in taking down Trump I can’t wait for nothing to change at all
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Today, I put a cinder block in front of their hole. If they get through this tonight I will just have to keep them as pets.
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If you work in PR and haven’t told your clients to delete all their old tweets you are doing a terrible job.
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@aurabogado
@elizaskinner
Wow I forgot all about this. I was the one who heard the podcast and wrote the initial article for (the new defunct) XoJane. Cool to see shitty behavior constantly getting rewarded.
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Can’t wait til that raccoon’s offensive tweets from seven years ago resurface.
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@OccupyDemocrats
Not to mention the emotional trauma those kids are going to have the rest of their lives. Fucking disgusting.
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The last few weeks of pregnancy suck so bad. This baby better be fucking cool and not into golf or something stupid
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Looks like someone was a victim of the ol’ blood in the basement gag.
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