Dave Bulmer @demontomatodave.bsky.social
@DemonTomatoDave
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DemonTomatoDave #5138 He/him
England
Joined April 2009
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Claudia Sheinbaum
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BB X LISA
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ルパン三世
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TOYOTA GOOD DEAL X MEW
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土砂降り
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Yeah no we all watched it. Gave him the factory, we know
Gene Wilder was very blunt about the kids he disliked during Willy Wonka, and he was also quite honest about the one kid he adored.
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Hey, you know how we don't say "I'd love to see that on a t-shirt" because then art theft bots steal the art and auto-generate a t-shirt?
Bad news... They're doing it to "do you have a PayPal link?"
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Apparently real police have that shooting gallery from Men In Black where you're supposed to shoot the little girl
i'm going to have to sit all night with the fact that on-the-record, some cops will tell you they shoot guns at pictures of their own children to reduce their instinct to hesitate in the field.
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Every microwave meal packaging I've ever seen:
750w - time
900w - shorter time
Every microwave I've ever owned or seen on sale:
800w
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@wwf_uk
This is like if David Attenborough did a piece to camera about his environmental activism while politely snapping swans' necks throughout.
What an amazing way to reverse the cultural meaning of that panda logo in an instant.
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I bet you anything this was the coolest thing anyone had ever drawn up to then.
comet (with a sword), germany, ca. 1552
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Never became as popular as "ET Phone Home" did it
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did they just write "groceries are so expensive now that young people can't save money and also eat, even on a good salary" and make it sound like the kids' fault for eating
Millennials and Gen-Zers are pulling in bigger paychecks, but much of their spending power is fueling short-term purchases like groceries and vacations, not savings.
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Taken (Liam Neeson, 2008)
Taken 2 (Liam Neeson, 2012)
Taken 3 (Liam Neeson, 2014)
Taken Tag Tournament (Liam Neeson, 2017)
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@Danny8bit
@SNick_WT
Also this. Our last chance. Much better than anyone let it be, and the ultimate imax 3D experience. But nope
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So, what we're doing with this tweet is we're reading it, and then we're looking at the date it was posted
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How is it that every day somewhere a business posts an AI generated image thinking that "they won't notice this one, this one's good" and every single day it isn't and everyone notices and they have to take it down and this has been going on for months
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I know it's a trite comparison but ISNT IT WEIRD HOW LEX LUTHOR IS REAL NOW??
HE HASN'T EVEN TRIED MAKING HIMSELF LOOK DIFFERENT OR DOING ANYTHING NON-EVIL
ISNT IT JUST REALLY WEIRD??
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Sure sex is great but have you ever?
ever felt like this?
have strange things happened
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@ITVNewsPolitics
@BorisJohnson
Don't fall for this act. He wants us making fun of him today instead of concentrating on the NHS bill.
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@DireJaybird
@Pony_Farts
@Coelasquid
Here's an idea that's only partly a joke
We grab all the descriptions available that people used to generate AI art. We draw a LOT of school book doodle penises. We make a bot that posts the penises with every word in those descriptions attached. We turn AI art into willies.
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I want to see every step Rowling went through in her notebook between "abracadaver (keep this, it's good)" and "avada kedavra".
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Hi I'm a billionaire who just bought one of the most watched commercial TV channels at the height of its popularity (it's the 90s).
Now I've made it so everyone's TV turns off after 15 minutes!
Oh! All my advertisers are calling! Probably to tell me what a good CEO I am!
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@HekknIsAnIdiot
@GoodReddit
If we're really S-ranking this then elevator -> run really fast -> drop down lift shaft -> pound the ground seconds before impact so you take no fall damage
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The film The Santa Clause taught me what a clause is, and un-taught everyone else how to spell Santa Claus
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lol
sir!! sir!! someone in britain is happy! sir quick!!!
Government says four-day working weeks should 'cease immediately'
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There's little middle ground in the responses to a Quinton video between "I'm very happy about this and will now get a lot of housework done" and "Uploading a video this long about something I've never heard of should have some sort of penalty attached"
BUT right,
The Collapse of Sam & Cat
(a new REASONABLY LENGTHED video)
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"One of our greatest ever thinkers" begged and campaigned and eventually tried to use legal action to stop you destroying the institution that let him live to my age let alone his, without which I probably won't live to his, and you just sort of chuckled and twizzled about.
Stephen Hawking was a defining force in the world of science whose loss will be felt in every corner of the globe. I was sad that we didn’t agree on everything, but he was still a hero to me as one of our greatest ever thinkers - he inspired with his courage as well as his words.
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@fesshole
To be fair that's an excellent prank if you know your uncle/aunt is going to interview for a red tongue haver position
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The best character design ever. Imagine deciding to change this. And then imagine, having changed it, keeping the changed version for twenty years instead of this perfection
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George Lucas in the 70s: "I'll call this guy uhhh, Hoopy-Loopy-Doopy."
Nerds in a very serious voice 45 years later: "Hoopy-Loopy-Doopy."
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Absolutely fascinating. Isn't this incredible?
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The Raggy Dolls was a CITV cartoon about reject dolls, with a message about how differences are okay and can be celebrated. One was depressed, one had a stammer, one couldn't use her arms very well, and one was French and that is actually what the thing with him was
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@ItsAndyRyan
@xLiserx
My Nanna once walked up to our car, got in, sat down and chatted for a good few minutes before she realised it wasn't in fact us or our car, just some random family
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Ok. Not yelling at yer, this is just cause I know I've needed someone to do this for me:
There's less than an hour. It's near home. Forget everything else, drop it all, grab coat, go and vote. You'll be back before the hour is up.
You'll feel bad about it forever if you don't.
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You can help fight this scam by listening to my podcasts,
@sonicpodcast
and
@seriousdisness
. They're "actually really well made, I was expecting just some rubbish but no, it's genuinely quite good!" -NYT* 2019.
*Not You Talking
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Did you know the phrase "I've got a bridge to sell you" originates from conman George Parker who would "sell" famous landmarks for thousands of dollars? Of course all the rubes really bought was a paper SAYING they owned it which affected nobody else's ability to enjoy the landma
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This is the Who's On First of 2020
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I'm getting tired of culture getting decided by dorks. The Mario movie is an isekai yeah? You needed a word from anime for that yeah? It's a Narnia, get off my landlord's lawn.
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@benoobrown
Absolutely, all phone numbers are pronounce 5/3/3. Any other pattern you're reading a number, 5/3/3 is a little poem.
Oh-diddle-um-dum-dum
Bee-ba-bah
Be-bo-bo.
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The Discworld books are better if you read them in the order they were written, like all long series are. You can tell at a glance that this is true because if you ask what order to read them in, fans will give you these charts to explain their "better" reading order:
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hey uhh
why didn't hbo max SELL all those shows? were they just like "oh nonono, we don't want to do any capitalism nono"
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The new Mario movie trailer looks absolutely perfect visually, and as a film, completely detestable
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@CPKlassen
@UPROXX
No, but I'd argue that bit where he takes all his clothes off and grinds his arse on the glass door serves a similar narrative purpose
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He's doing something I'm glad exists, even though yeah, I've never heard of Sam & Cat and am unlikely to watch a nine hour video about it.
These videos plug a hole in the pop culture history the internet reports on. Everyone knows about my era, and the current era, but THIS?
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@fesshole
It's just their brains reknitting, they hate it too. You'll have them back soon - BUT ONLY if you support them through this unflinchingly. Can't give up on them now.
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@StarInTheTitle
@clairewillett
If you do this with the Dear Hank & John podcast (which is good anyway), you get to hear them constantly reference how "we're overdue a pandemic" whenever they start feeling morbid, which they're prone to do
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@on_da_spectrum
God it took me ages to realise it wasn't suggesting 9/11 is known for saving people. (And all right I'm british but we knew about 911 before 9/11)
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Theory: if you love doing it with your best friends in private but would be embarrassed to do it with them in a café, it's sex
Conclusion: dungeons & dragons is sex
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@demonpugo1
@DaveScheidt
That's not true, but here's what is: the practice an adult would have to do to get good, a kid does for fun. The difference is that a kid is satisfied with a bad drawing and an adult sees it as proof they're innately untalented and a reason to stop trying. This is incorrect.
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@infinityonhi
I took a whole extra set of clothes to a ONE-night stay "in case someone voms on us on the train". Which of course they didn't, but imagine if they DID and you didn't bring more CLOTHES
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HOLD UP
Now that they're making a live-action Pokémon movie, could we finally get the casting choice I've advocated since 1998?
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@hamishsteele
Glad the directors have confirmed that part was based on platforming though. Has anyone asked them yet whether the hat mario wears in the film is based on Mario's hat
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This stuff exists only in the whispers of an ignored in-between generation who never talk loudly about whatever the hell iCarly is because they know all that will happen is that awful old grumparses like me will tut and go "never heard of it".
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OH MY GOD this is why Rudy was half an hour late to the conference and sounded all out of breath, NO oh my GOD lol
@SlexAxton
The press conference was delayed by 30 minutes.
Distance between the ‘real’ Four Seasons and this one is 24 minutes 😂
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"Power plants are safe and must be allowed to reopen" - Mr Snrub
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Quinton videos are literally the only evidence that ever passes in front of my eyes that someone like Ariana Grande up there did not spring up out of nothing in 2017 to be in a horrible headline. I should know these things, and if I don't, they should be at least documented.
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@fionaostby
@shaun_vids
I used to get really annoyed that my dad didn't want me to hold on by putting both hands over his eyes.
Well, I'm TERRIBLY SORRY but I'm trying to steady myself here DAD, and THAT'S where I require HANDLES
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loyal, lethal, and stupid
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If you feel depressed about how many people online seem to have fallen for the digital tulips pyramid scheme, cheer yourself up by reading every single reply to every single post Kickstarter make as they try to pretend they intend to still have a business by summer
The bottom line: we’re doing this because we believe it will benefit creators, and exponentially expand our ability to help bring creative projects to life. We can’t do this alone, and we’re planning more ways to make sure your voices are heard.
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Found this sheet of drawings from when I was 15 and it's actually brilliant
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I like
big
BOOKS but I can not read
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@gravislizard
@shaun_vids
"Ha, look at that loser, doing the thing I used to do as a teenager before I realised how silly I was being and stopped doing things I used to really, really enjoy, wait" - me, often
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"compassionate conservative" means one of those serial killers who kind of cradles you and goes "sshh, shh, sshhh" as they watch you bleed out
Hunt says this will be a "compassionate Conservative government" and that people on the breadline will be "top of our minds" in the weeks and months ahead.
Strong hint that benefits will be uprated in line with inflation, not earnings.
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This is my favourite day on the internet in ages, the replies are some good old fashioned fun. Treat yourself. It's real, the americans have started a company called Nonce Finance. They really have, it's real. They have chosen to do this
📢
@noncefinance
is building on Polygon!
🚀 With Polygon, NFT users will be able to increase the liquidity of their NFTs by utilizing Nonce's fractionalization protocol that creates a seamless bridge between the NFT and ERC20 world.
🌐 Learn more:
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Funko Pop's genetic experiments are coming on nicely
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Don't fall for this naked attempt to get us to make fun of his bumbly funnyman ways today. It's to distract us from the NHS bill. That's today's real Boris news. He and his pals are tabling a law today that will finally crumble the NHS into little gold nuggets for his pocket.
'Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me'
@BorisJohnson
appears to lose track of his notes as he delivers a speech to the Confederation of British Industry (CBI)
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"Now you can pay with your face."
- Optimus Prime
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IT WORKS!! IT'S ALIIIIIIVE!!
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Oh my god I grew up in the Midlands where old ladies called you "duck," and you assumed they were being cosy, but it turns out it's exactly the same as the modern "boss"
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Farmer's Almanac
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Ash Ketchum: "Poke-um-on"
Professor Oak: "Poke-um-on"
Theme tune: "Po-kay-mon"
At least two generations of American fans who make YouTube videos: "Po-KEEE-mon"
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@OllyWrites
A Sonic the Hedgehog discussion group.
Listen
They didn't have dating apps in 1997 ok, they had sonic the hedgehog discussion groups.
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<<- What I watch a Spider-Man film to see
what I get when I watch one ->>
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@KupferudelWolf
Is that a mug with a picture of a t-shirt with a picture of a tshirt with a picture of a shirt on it on it on it?
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@peeshitters
@NightmareModeGo
who was that guy in Bloodborne who spoiled everyone's day, and he was just called like, "Mr Griffeths" or something
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um excuse me!
if we could do my wife before we start on gorillas?
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Soho in London is jammers, mask on and home time for me. Absolute madness
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Abby's parents yesterday hadn't heard of Bertha. Lovely Bertha! Even though they at least one of them would have been present every time she, a toddler, watched it. We just let the important media of anyone younger than us pass by unnoticed.
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It's not a question of IF Mario is going to look around all confused and say "It's, uhh, me, Mario," it's a question of how many minutes in advance we'll be able to tell he's about to say it
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@gracedent
I believe what we've got here is a quite good parental white lie that set in harder than it was ever meant to
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Right what's going on. What is going on? This is like if reviewers in 1970 didn't know what the three circles you see all over Disneyland represented
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After a WHOLE DAY of seeing this tweet, I've JUST REALISED that "popping" in America is a dancing term and she doesn't mean like, well I'll just pop that in there for safe keeping
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Stop it Taylor he's gonna burst!
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- I just think you're...
- What?? You think I'm what?
^^^ no director has ever seen dialogue like this and allowed the necessary pause between lines. Every single time, the 2nd character interrupts, which makes the whole thing not work
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